Tuesday, May 6, 2008

We experience minor earthquakes every day

May 6, 2008 - Tuesday

No Country for Old Men is a tough book to read. You can cut the tension with a knife. And sometimes I get lost in the dialogue. So when the guy next to me on the bus decided to turn on his speaker phone to jam out to some awful pop/hip-hop song (and if I say it's bad, it must be terrible), I got a little irritated.

Normally in a situation like this I would sigh to myself, pull out my iPod and turn it up as loud as I could to try to drown it all out. But today was different. I turned to him and asked, "Could you turn that down please?" After asking me to repeat myself in a threatening manner he said "It's a free f*ucking country. Go back to reading your book." I started to tell him to stop being so rude when a few other passengers joined my side and the driver told him to turn it off. Sweet!

I've started looking at things I have been doing a little differently. I'm asking more questions, whether it be for a raise at work or directions on a new bus. I remember my dad saying more than once that my generation has a problem with that. We'll just sit back and wait to find out rather than ask. It's been true for me. What a waste of time and worry!

Asking for help is essential when waiting tables. While training I used to stress the importance of this on every shift. Why haven't I applied this in broader strokes?

With these and other small revelations happening almost every day, I wonder why I have spent so much time contemplating something that is hundreds of days (and perhaps hundreds of epiphanies) away. So my next big move is to consider things that are more immediate and let more seismic, albeit simple, events happen within my faults.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Are you my Rand McNally?

April 8, 2008 - Tuesday

Current mood: curious

UNC didn’t make it to the championship game in the NCAA. It surprised a lot of people and pissed off more by busting their brackets. Although this was the first March Madness I paid attention to, it may have had grand implications beyond teaching me that there are no quarters in college basketball and there’s more time on the shot clock than in the NBA.

I have wanted to go to school to be a librarian at UNC for a few years now. In fact, I was pretty sure it was a given I would end up hating Duke for no real reason at one point or another. But in the last few months, I have run into something interesting...the University of Texas-Austin has one of the best law library programs in the nation. Yes, folks--Texas.

So in the spirit of keeping my mind open to anything and everything, I have asked, "Why not?" The wind dies, traffic fades and the silencing is deafening. Ummm...is anyone else freaked the F out here? Me? Texas? Yeah, I’m shaking in my (oh gag) boots.

Has anyone been there? Someone have some insight? Help here! I plan on moving in the next year and will not likely be convinced otherwise. Anything you can say is good. Don’t hesitate...I promise I won’t when I rent the UHaul!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Fifth grade made me a feminist

March 29, 2008 - Saturday

I was listening to Dazed and Confused by Led Zepplin on the way downtown today when the line The soul of woman was created below made me think twice. Now I have always kinda liked this lyric because, quite frankly, it makes us ladies sound pretty bad ass. But today it struck me that maybe it wasn’t quite as cool as I thought.

I consider myself a feminist, and while I might sleep through certain parts of my life, once my passion gets fired up it’s hard to calm it down. (Sort of an "If your’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention" kinda thing.) So I’m walking down the block thinking of the story of Pandora’s box and Eve in the garden of Eden and I’m getting righteously pissed off! The feeling is familiar and almost comfortable. The first time I heard the myth of Pandora I was 11 -- I freaked out at my fifth grade teacher for reading us such a sexist story!

Women have made great strides in the last century to be sure, but there is a fundamental view that hasn’t changed. My friend says it’s because the world tends to see things in black-or-white, yes-or-no terms. The madonna or the whore. The great double-standard. How can this be changed? Can it be? I know I fall into the trap as often as the next person and I’m supposed to believe in equal treatment for both sexes.