Gangsta For Life (G4L)!

I've been listening to a lot of hip hop and Top 40 bullshit lately. Some people have reality TV, others trashy romance novels -- my guilty pleasure is terribly bad music. Or at least it is terribly bad to the music fascists out there. It makes me happy. So really, what's wrong with that?

My roommate and I were listening to the radio in the car last night and Rihanna's new song Hard was playing. I commented that she was on Def Jam now and had to get some street cred. Read: Pop/Rap song with Young Jeezy. Oh dear lord. Can you believe how ridiculous it is that I know this? (BTW: Check out the song. I really like it.)

hard - rihanna ft young jeezy

I started thinking about how silly real life would be if we all acted like hip hop artists:

I stayed up partying past midnight last weekend. We were drinking Sierra Nevada and sauteing shrimp for dinner. Watching Curb Your Enthusiasm we rented from NetFlix: Larry David is a genius. I'm not scared to laugh.

I caught the 71 from Aptos to Watsonville. It runs once an hour. Some of the drivers know me. I look so fly walking to the bus stop that cars driving by honk and people wave. I wave back. Yeah, I know I rule.

During the week I kick it at Smith Micro Software. I'm always writing the coolest shit so people will want to buy our software. Other software companies are wishing they had our products. Their marketers would kill for my skills.

After work I'm hitting up Target for some Clear Care contact solution and Crest Whitening Toothpaste. You don't wanna question my hygiene. I'll shower once, maybe twice, a day. But I'm not washing my hair that often. Don't get it twisted.

I don't always ride the bus. Sometimes I walk. I can walk for miles. I walk 3 miles every day. Up hills and shit. That's how tough I am. Once in a while I ride in my roommate's Ford Focus. Or my boyfriend's Toyota Tundra. I don't know if it has sweet rims or anything, but I would bet it does. He doesn't play.

And that was just this past week! I gotta say, I feel pretty hard. And awesome. Don't hate. Give it a try. You just might find out you're extraordinary.

P.S. Rihanna's new look is really hot. And I am going to shamelessly promote her and her new album, which kicks ass and is being released November 23.

You can change an idea. Beliefs are trickier.

A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club. I happen to think it's one of the greatest movies (and books) of all time. And it's not just because Brad Pitt kicks a lot of ass while shirtless. And it's not just because of Edward Norton's soothing voice as narrator. The book and movie speak volumes for how I feel about consumerism and the American "dream."

There are a few lines in the book and movie that speak to me. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Isn't that the truth? The classic stories of heroes throughout time all begin with a loss so great (family, home, trust) that one doesn't possibly think the hero can overcome. But when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, you start to see things differently. Hell, you can do whatever you want. But only with the right mentality. And the ability to see past the fear.

My favorite line from the movie is The things you own end up owning you. I never wanted to forget that, so I branded it on my body. Frankly, I am not a tattoo kinda girl, but this was important to me. And I've had more than one conversation about it that ended with "I'm not a big fan of tattoos, but I really like yours." And that's how I feel about it. It means something.

So: A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club, and he actually owned the movie. It was in his home. This was while I was staying in Norway, which happens to be one of the wealthiest countries in the world. People there tend to be very into fashion. It costs $30 to take the bus. Cigarettes were $20 a pack. (Coincidence I just quit? Hardly.) I hadn't been able to put my finger on exactly why I felt uncomfortable at times there, but the movie did it for me: I'm uncomfortable with people spending money.

Now we could talk about why that is, but that's really neither here nor there. What I'm concerned with is my quest to achieve balance in all of this. Just because I have an opinion about owning things does not mean that no one else should. Hell, my roommate owns his house and I'm pretty stoked on that. And I would really like to buy a boat one day, and I convinced him that I should put it in his name.

So is it really bad to own things? Is it terrible to want nice things and to spend money on them? I don't know. As Tyler Durdin would say: Is this necessary, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?

Again, I'm thrown back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Where does all of this belong? Is this model appropriate? I'm looking for feedback here. I am open to modifying my ideas here. I don't know that it's realistic to all live hunter-gatherer lifestyles. But then again, if 2012 is in our future, perhaps my questions are unwarranted.

According to my friends, I've been Californiaized

It's been a few days since I arrived home and (I think) the jet lag has passed. My clothes are clean and my luggage is back in its place in the closet.

Although I miss my sweet sweet friend dearly, there is something so nice about coming home. So in the spirit of my last post, here are some things (in no particular order) I love about California:

• I can call it home! I've lived here for four months, and when I was missing home on my trip, I was missing California. I feel settled in and that I belong here--more than any place in a long while.


• My kitchen! I had a great time cooking in Norway. I learned how to prepare different fish, make mushroom sauce (mmm...mushrooms) and that there are loads of things you can put on bread. But there is something so nice about coming home and baking bread in my own oven. My first loaves: oatmeal cinnamon raisin breakfast bread. Oh yeah. It's amazing.

• My friends and roommate. The few friends I've made here are great ones. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. My roommate and I get along famously regardless, but I will say that installing a washer and dryer while I was gone made me even more happy to see him.
  
  Here's a pic of him and me in San Francisco a few months back. We went to visit friends and family. It's so nice to have people that care about me in California. It's pretty awesome considering how little time I have been here.




• The food! I know, I know! But food provides energy for life. We have to eat it, so I have decided to enjoy it. And damn! I missed the taquerias. I love spicy food -- peppers and hot sauce of any kind. I am using the word "love" about hot sauce and I am not ashamed. A good friend of mine and I made these huevos rancheros for breakfast a few weeks ago. I guess I eat like a queen in Cali too.



Oh California! Thanks for such a warm homecoming. I feel so blessed to be living in this beautiful state. It's full of possibilities and wonder. I've only begun exploring.

(You will notice the weather is not on this list. Although I love it, it is chili here. It's a humid coolness, and that chills to the bone. I realize that coming from Minnesota I shouldn't complain, and I'm trying not to. It's for this reason that my friends make fun of me for being Californiaized. I dare say I would not make it through a Minneapolis winter now.)