How do you like your eggs?

If you could have one last meal, what would it be? I'm not trying to be fatalistic or anything, but it's a telling question!

Being that I enjoy almost any kind of food, this is going to be a rough one for me. Can I break it down into breakfast, lunch and dinner or is that cheating? I think it probably is because it's one last meal right?

And how far can I go? Can I just say I'm really hungry and get one of everything I want? I think that's against the rules too. Three course meal, fine. But no choosing random food...

OK here goes: calamari, wedge salad with bacon, tomato, blue cheese, filet mignon oscar style medium rare with asparagus side and au gratin potatoes, with a bottle of spicy zin or shiraz and chocolate ice cream for dessert.

(Ooohh but I really want pizza too!)

Lunar cycles make me frisky

October 25, 2007 - Thursday

I choose to stay home, not work out and watch baseball. I'm not apologizing for it. Tomorrow is a full moon and I know it's going to be a trying, long day. I'll start by working out at 5am. That's where all the crazies start their days.

I can feel the moon making me a little silly. (I know ... a little?!?) I realize there is little science behind these things, but I truly believe it to be true. It's working!

I continue the love/hate relationship

October 22, 2007 - Monday

TV is taking over my life. Between football and baseball, I think I've spent 12-15 hours a week this month staring at it. Not that I'm complaining about that--we all know October is my favorite month. But there are a few things I have a problem with:

Stupid commercials: Don't get me wrong, there are a few genius ads out there, but come on! Not only is my intelligence insulted, but there are people getting paid to come up with these monuments to idiocy and others who get paid more to say "Yes! That's exactly what we're looking for. Run it!"

ED drug commercials: Why are these running during prime time sporting events? Parents now have to explain sex to their kids as well as why some men have trouble with it. Can you imagine? I'm no prude, but really?!?

Drug commercials in general: I have an entire rant on how medicated our country is, but I'll save that for another time. But can you believe the side effects some of these drugs have? "Sleepwalking and eating or driving while not fully awake, with amnesia for the event, have been reported." That sounds good...I'll have that.

Reality TV: I don't watch it. I don't like it. I don't want to see commercials for it. I think people are becoming more stupid because of it. (Tell me how you really feel!)

I know all of this could be remedied by not watching any TV, but what fun would that be?

Ignorance is bliss

October 21, 2007 - Sunday

Why is it that regardless of what time I go to sleep, I can't sleep in past 9 am? I used to be so good at sleeping. My eyes would slowly open around 3 pm and I would rush around trying to get ready for work at 5. The club sandwich I ate when I got there would be breakfast.

I guess I'm slowing down, turning into an adult, becoming lame, whatever you want to call it. I've become a 9-5, Monday thru Friday drone. I try to tell myself that because I am a waitress on the weekends I'm immune to it. It's a lie. I start to yawn at midnight and my bed sounds better than the second shot I've been offered.

It's either slow down and admit what I am or go out, spend too much money and try to live in denial. The former is starting to sound a bit better every weekend.

"There’s no way she likes that song! Oh oh wait! Is she in a coma?"

October 20, 2007 - Saturday

Is everyone OK? Is there a full moon? No ... That's next week!?! Good lord, what is going to happen then? I'm telling you: the crazies are out in full force already!

I know that something beyond your control is guiding your behavior. I know that you can't help it. Normally you're a perfect gentleman/lovely lady. I recognize that.

What I need to know is this: If everyone I know is acting this way, is my response as weird? Is this sort of thing contagious? I'm certainly not immune to much.

Sleep deprivation is synonymous with October

October 16, 2007 - Tuesday

It's just crazy how this post-season has gone in the National League--wild card tie-breakers, extra innings that have me sleeping on the couch at 2am, comeback kids...I may have to rethink my love of the American League. Regardless, next year I will be paying more attention to the NL, which means I gotta find a way to catch "Baseball Tonight" more often.

Which leads me to this: Who will I cheer for in the World Series? I know: It ain't over till it's over. I haven't said any names!! Most certainly I can not cheer for Boston. (That's only excusable when the Yankees also are involved in the post-season.) Will it be the American or National League? I can tell you that it won't be an easy choice.

I love October. The thing that gets me though it that when it's over, there are five months of NO baseball. *sob* I guess football will have to get me through another off-season.

In case you missed it ...

October 16, 2006 - Monday

The Twins lost. Boo! Oh well, there is always next year. And I am a Tigers fan by relation, so here's hoping they can sweep the World Series! Go Detroit!

In the last week or so my life has changed quite a bit. I started my new job, which is really a lot of fun. I work from home a lot so I have a hard time not working when I sit on the computer.

There is so much to do! I have to set hours for myself. Dave and I are a week away from closing on the house. YES!!! The 27th it will be ours. Then I will probably spend countless hours staring at my home and doing nothing. Hopefully this will offset the amount of work I want to do. I am looking forward to giving out candy at Halloween.

CANDY TIP: Have some Tootsie candy around in a different jar for all the kids with nut allergies. They will be truly happy that they can eat your candy!

I believe in a thing called...

October 14, 2007 - Sunday

I stepped into The Twilight Zone this weekend. I'm in Duluth, driving an SUV, and shopping at *gasp* WalMart. I feel like a fraud. I take mass transit and shop locally! I swear it! But when it's convenient, I guess I don't.

Which leads me to this: Why do we have the opinions, nay the convictions, we do? And really, how strong are they? What is behind all of this, and is this really what makes us stand or fall when faced with adversity or scrutiny?

There are always those things that are drilled into you from childhood. Of course, not everything our parents did was correct in our eyes, but that makes us just as apt to not do something as we are to do the things we agree with our family about. I'm not sure if it is because we hold our family's values so dear or if we've known it longer than anything else, but these things seem to be most important and almost impossible to change in our minds.

But what about the contradiction in convictions with your family? Where does the path break? When is it that you decide that you're opinions are different and theirs may not be correct? Do these opinions and convictions have as much force or belief as the ones you grew up with? Do these change and mutate as you get older? Will I always be "liberal," or will I grow more conservative as I get older, as my dad predicts?

I guess it boils down to how open you are to changing your convictions and opinions. Is it possible to call them convictions if they change?

Maybe I'll just let Kevin Smith sum it up for me:
"I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant."

"Don’t knock masturbation -- it’s sex with someone I love."

October 8, 2007 - Monday

Have you ever seen "Annie Hall"? I forget how great that movie is, and I forget how many people my age have never seen it!!!
How tragic!

Our coming-of-age party!

October 5, 2007 - Friday

A friend and I recently concurred that there is a certain age where a line is drawn--the age where your brain might actually work fully. I've had this conversation before...the consensus is about 22. No one is saying that 22 is the age where everyone has it figured out; clearly that is not the case. But there comes a time when you realize you're not the center of the universe and things happen that affect people other than yourself and your circle.

My horoscope (which I can't help but read everyday! sad I know.) told me today that I would feel every age I have ever felt up to this point in my life. Of course, I didn't read this until about 8pm. But wow, it was so true for this particular day.

Think about that for a second: your first taste of cheese (that was a big deal for me), the cereal aisle, that first LP you put on your parents' turn table, your outfit on picture day in grade 1, being called "four-eyes" in grade 3, new friends in grade 6, finally graduating at age 18, figuring out what the hell your role might be at age 20, forgetting nights when you're 21, becoming friends with the enemy (read: your parents) soon after and realizing what a fool you may or may not have been throughout your "whole life" thus far. Well, holy shit! Imagine what comes next!

There is nothing better in this world than realizing you're wrong about something. I don't mean that "learn the hard way" kind of wrong--I'm talking the kind of wrong that creeps up on you when you're eating lunch one afternoon and your brain says "Hey! Remember when...wow, you're an idiot!" You get self-conscious, the blood moves into your face and you realize no one is looking at you while you're having some sort of breakthrough. Nothing more sure than humbling yourself.

I guess that's why I can't be too upset about pushing 30. I have my own selfish reasons for being excited about it, but imagine the epiphany I'll have! No wonder people have heart attacks when they're 50. If you open up your heart and mind, you'll forever be surprised!

Fond of fantasy

October 4, 2007 - Thursday

In the past few days I've talked to people in different time zones: one in California and one in South Korea. I remember when I was young trying to wrap my mind around the whole time zone idea. I thought that if you traveled west, you could travel back in time. (Maybe that's what jet lag is...ha!)

There are certain things I miss about childhood, and that is one of them. Not the difficulty understanding time zones--more like the idea that it was magical. Now I dismiss the idea of magic or corner it in my imagination where I think it belongs. I try to find the magic in everyday things, but it isn't the same as Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter-type magic. Pity, really. I'd like to think there are vampires and dark lords; it's just that logical, analytical part of me that laughs it into the back of my head.

The best things in life are free

October 2, 2007 - Tuesday

"I give you all my money/Tell me what more can I do?"--Eric Clapton

Sometimes you gotta wonder what the hell people are thinking. I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I have to vent. Why do certain individuals think that money is all that matters?

Everyone wants security. It's in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for goodness sake. But there are some who think that security (financially or otherwise) should really be the only thing that attracts another of the opposite sex. I disagree. It might be that evolution has taught us that in order to raise children we must have security, but is that really what we're looking for? I would hope that there is more to the equation.

Isn't it about happiness? What about laughter? And satisfaction? I would argue that there are few relationships based on furthering our species--I won't say much about that except that parenting should require a license, much like driving a car.

Where do satisfaction, laughter and happiness come from? It certainly depends on how you define those things, but I would argue that they come from companionship, friendship and shared experiences. They might not make us feel secure constantly, but who knows what will happen tomorrow? How can we ever understand security? Life is uncertain, but I do know that I can understand happiness in any language.

Sad songs

Do people mourn the loss of the leaves on a tree the way they mourn other deaths? I know losing leaves doesn't mean it's dead, but there is sort of a temporary expiration going on, you know? The combination of gray rain streaming down the bus windows and red leaves falling to the ground was enough for me to tear up this afternoon. I am such a sap.

There are all these symbols and attitudes that go along with the seasons. Spring is rain, green grass, cute shoes and skin--which leads to summer: more skin, heat and pursuing everything delightful with reckless abandon. (Can you guess why it's my favorite season?) Fall is a reality check of cool nights and school days. Winter is cold--cold weather, cold people--everyone keeping to themselves.

So maybe mourning the leaves falling is more like sadness for the end of casual conversation and friendly exchanges. We all shut ourselves up to hibernate. Not that I'm condemning that! Good lord, if you ever see me entertaining the notion of snowshoeing, slap me! But I wonder if there is a way to keep the coolness out of our exchanges.

Bring it on!

October 1, 2007 - Monday

Normally I'm not an active watcher of the National League, but can I just say that it RULES that I am watching the Wild Card tie breaker and it's going into extra innings???!!! Man it's gonna be a great October.
I try not to watch too much TV, but how am I going to drag myself away from baseball every night? I guess I won't. Yay! I am *so* happy!!