Movie Clip Monday (not for the faint of heart)

I just spent the week in New York City, so I thought it only fitting that I post something related to the Big Apple. And what better than a little Saturday Night Live? (Fair warning to those who don't like controversial material; this could offend you.)

It can be tough being born with a virtuous look. A coworker of mine put it in an interesting way: "The package you come in is sweet and innocent."

I understand Natalie's need to prove she's not so sweet. It's why I came back from New York with a black eye. And while I'd like to say, "You should see the other guy," it's more like, "I fought the table, and the table won."

Klutzy, unable to hold my liquor, and sweet. Well, I guess there are worse things to be.

I'm moving! Check out my new blog at www.sunnysanguinity.com.

Monday (has a feel) Movie-ish Clip

"It feels like Tuesday."

"Tuesday has no feeling." To this I disagree. Although I try to treat every day equally, I tend to agree that certain days have a feeling. I think this comes from years of doing the same things on the same days.

So I am going to try to shake things up. I worked on Saturday this weekend. I'm thinking about going out during the week. I woke up at the time I would normally go to work on Sunday. I say, let's change up the week! Thank God it's Monday!

Maybe the Me Generation was right all along

While watching Julie and Julia (an excellent movie if you're thinking about renting it--Nora Ephron=genius.) the other day, someone posed a question to me: Are all successful people selfish?

My immediate answer: Yes.

I think selfishness has gotten a bad wrap. Even Merriam-Webster is out to get it! Perhaps I should submit an addendum to the definition, because I believe that selfishness is an integral part of mental health.

In order to be selfless, one has to be selfish. I can't save you from drowning if I don't know how to swim. My cooking skills suffer when I'm dying of starvation. In order for me to help you, I must first help myself.

I know that there are plenty of acts of selfishness that hurt people and destroy lives. I just think that some acts of selfishness are necessary and good as long as they don't harm others.

Astigmatisms can't be blamed for lack of perspective

Today I was tasked with inspiring my team at work. I introduced them to Littlewood's Law, which basically applies a little math to my idealistic attitude. I thought it was pretty good. What I didn't expect was for them to come up with a few of their own thoughts about it that blew my optimism out of the water. Bonus!

Last night my boyfriend gave me some constructive criticism and I actually listened. (What? I'm not perfect?!? This came as a shock to me as well.)

I've always said that I want to surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person. But I guess I've never really fully considered what that means. Wanting to be a better person is one thing. Becoming a better person is another. It involves admitting that others might know more than me and then changing to see their point of view. Or to at least consider it.

These things are uncomfortable and scary. All of this reminds me of a moment in As Good As It Gets.

I guess I just want to say thank you to everyone who is in my life in big and small ways. You make me want to be a better woman. And damn, I know it's hard because I'm stubborn and arrogant!

In turn, I encourage people to speak their minds and keep their perspectives. No one person thinks in the same way, and you never know whose life or heart you will touch with your thoughts.

Perception Is Reality: It's not just cheezy corporate lingo anymore

People that spend time with me know that I keep a notebook in my purse at all times. I use this sometimes to write down directions, books that might interest me and movies that I should see.

But what I do with it more often is write down what people say -- things that strike me as funny. If I write something down and you said it, usually it's a compliment. But once in a while I'm secretly making fun of you. This is one of the joy of being friends with, coworkers with or anyone that spends a lot of time with a writer.

I read an old entry recently:

A boss of mine (I won't say her name, but I'll bet some of you can guess) said "I was in the break room heating up some oatmeal and someone said 'Blah blah blah' to me. I couldn't remember who said it because I am so self-absorbed."

Now, she could have meant that she was absorbed in her own thoughts at that moment. But because she used the present tense, I took it to mean that, well, she is pretty self-absorbed. And that amused me at the time.

Last week I was reading my horoscope. That may seem a bit cheesy, but the guy I like is nationally syndicated and quite clever. He's a good writer and happens to be dead-on in my case. Or has been for the past three years. He is part of the reason I am not an unhappy wife with children right now.

(I can't help but endorse him: Robert Breszny--Free Will Astrology http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/ Check him out. Very into optimism!)

My horoscope said that my superpower was the ability to change myself. If, for instance, I was tired of being surrounded by poor listeners and flaky collaborators, I should decide to transform that pattern in my life.

Over the past few weeks I noticed my writing has been heavy with frustration over the fact that some people who have come into my life recently have been really self-absorbed. I was feeling sorry for myself about how no one is listening and everything is so one-sided and yadda yadda yadda. It was a regular pity-party to be honest.

But just like how I can read into something my boss said, my perception of how I believe people are is how they will tend to be. So if I can transform myself and my perception, I believe that some of these people will be better listeners and true friends.

In fact, they probably already are. But only by transforming my attitude will they become that way. Oh hell, and if they aren't...well that line of thinking doesn't suit me too well. But if they aren't, then I guess it just helps me to achieve balance in the friendship department. Regardless, here I go trying to grow again!

Seeking similarities in a sunless situation

In the last few days I have been trying desperately to shake jet lag. The fact that I am up writing at 2 am would lead me to believe that I've done a terrible job of it. But hey! Because of the time difference I am just having a bit more trouble assimilating to life in Scandinavia.

When I travel, I often look for the differences between what I am accustomed to and what other cultures and countries are used to. The Norwegians shower on the bathroom floor here--the drains are all over the bathroom! The Swedish have a two "mealish" events: one that is all about sweets and happiness and another that is more of a mini meal. You can imagine I am a fan of both. 

This afternoon my girlfriend and I were discussing that looking for the differences might not be the right way to go about things. I mean, we're all creatures of habit are we not? Perhaps we should be looking for similarities so that we can be more comfortable when we're struggling to find our place in new surroundings.

Don't we all experience joy and heartache? Don't we all bleed? Don't we feel cold and dress accordingly? (This is definitely one I am relearning on my vacation in the Nordic world.) 

As the world gets smaller thanks to advances in communication and travel, there is more of a need to assimilate more quickly to different environments. Maybe noticing what we have in common as humans will make that easier. Maybe it will help my jet lag. Maybe it's all just wishful thinking, but be careful what you wish for ... world peace may be just around the corner!

"No, impassible. Nothing's impossible!"

Jim, a 78-year-old man, showed up at my door today to say hello and that he grew up in what I now call my home. I invited him in and he told me about a secret room behind my closet (exploration time, anyone?) and where he buried his dog. His parents had the house built. He said he lived here during World War II and when there were blackouts, they would eat by the light of the refrigerator.


I'm a sucker for good stories, so it was a welcome intrusion, to say the least.

Today also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the Loma Prieta Earthquake, which shook (literally and figuratively) much of California to the core. I've seen monuments to the catastrophe here but not being local, mostly I remember it as something that happened during (of course) playoff baseball.

Perspective and time are such amazing things, aren't they? One person can look out a window and see empty fields where he dug caves and hid coins, and I see a neighborhood full of people going about their business. To me, a closet holds clothes; to him--secret meetings with the neighbor kids. In my world, the earthquake was pictures and newscasts. To others, it seemed to be the end of the world.

I often wax poetic about different planets and dimensions, wondering when we will be able to travel to and from and through them. But doesn't that already exist in the world we live in today? If we open our minds and look through other people's eyes, Mount Everest doesn't look so tall. And the oceans seem only a pond.

Perhaps our version of time travel is too narrow. What if we simply listened and lived through other people's stories. I mean really listen without our own experiences coloring theirs? Could we travel back in their memories? Can we exist somewhere else simply by letting go?

If this is true, then maybe we can do whatever we want to do. That looming project at work might not seem so taxing after swimming the English Channel. Writing that book would seem less daunting after witnessing your plays performed on stage. For those times when we'd rather not get out of bed, we could remember a life where we could not walk at all.

I'm not proposing we don multiple personalities or lose our own. I'm suggesting that maybe if we let go of our egos and allow our souls to truly listen and move, we can accomplish anything. We are all connected, and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could learn the easy way for once? I think it's very possible.

What would you eat for a last meal?

There are certain questions I like to ask that I feel tell a lot about someone:

--How do you like your eggs?
--If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
--Do you have a criminal record?

These questions don't have a right or wrong answer. They're just telling, y'know? And this weekend I was speaking to some people about my adventures of late, and I realized, I basically answered the question "What would you take to a deserted island?" Oh, and here's a picture of my answer.




Watermelon (for hydration, of course!), my bread, wine (man can not live on bread alone), Henry David Thoreau's Walden, and well, a cigarette. (I know, I know. Dammit!)

Most of us really don't need much. In fact, I like to remind myself that I don't need anything. But oxygen is good. And I really do dig sunshine. And I'll begrudgingly admit that gravity has its benefits. Maybe the things we need are what we cannot capture.

Laughter, happiness and love are the oxygen, sunshine and gravity of our lives. They're impossible to capture, and the science behind them is mind-blowing. So, although I really like my cigarettes, booze and literature, I'm certain I could make it on a deserted island as long as I had some good company.

Talkie, talkie, talkie...no more talkie.

I was in CVS with a friend and we saw some Real Cheese Flavored Puffs. We were laughing trying to decide if they were real cheese or if they tasted like real cheese flavor. This morning I noticed my peanut butter was labeled with Natural Fresh Roasted Peanut Taste. My question was similar to the one above: is it natural peanut butter or just natural peanut taste?

Paying attention is a skill. People talk a lot. Some of them are just running their mouths, but I think it's still important to listen to their words. Most people will tell you what they mean, who they are, and their intentions. Many times their sentences will be phrased like the ones above, leaving the listener to question their true meaning.

The coolest thing is talking with someone who isn't just talking to hear the sound of their own voice--one of those people who chooses their words carefully and thinks for a minute when asked a question. I like the slower conversation--the pauses in between are like rests in a melody: necessary and helpful to build anticipation.

Those people might still make comments about their real cheese flavor but offer a chance to think about it and question it during the conversation instead of two weeks later while eating your toast at breakfast. Bless them--they are a rare breed.

"1984" scares me, or Nobody said life is fair

September 8, 2008 - Monday

When I was younger I had to earn all of my money to buy a car. My younger sisters both had cars at 16 and no, they didn't buy them. I paid for college myself. I don't want to know how they paid for their educations.

I'm not trying to whine--I'm over all that. I've just been curious as to why exactly it was OK to help them and not me. And this curiosity leads me to look at a bigger picture and ask:

Why is it that much of the conservative party will use big government to bail us out of economic crisis but not environmental or social crisis? What makes one more special than the other? Why is it OK on one hand to help out ailing banks with unethical lending practices and on the other hand watch as food prices and obesity rates soar and fast food prices go down?

Bail out the rich and leave the masses to wallow in their reality TV and Taco Bell. I guess I just have to take comfort in the fact that not everyone thinks like certain Republicans.