One of my favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. While I believe most of the lines are quotable (and I do), one conversation from the movie in particular I like is this:
Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally Albright: Why?
Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, 'How come you never take me to the airport anymore?'
Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.
My friends and I were talking about how people have their relationship status listed on Facebook. We were against it for the most part. Our arguments with it mostly had to do with privacy and the like. And of course, really, if someone would like to know, they could just ask.
While that is one of the reasons I stopped listing my relationship status, the main reason is like Harry's above. I never want anyone to say to me "How come you're not listed as in a relationship with me on Facebook?"
If that makes me the angel of death, then so be it.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Good girlfriends--every woman deserves them
I've been watching PBS lately. I'm not the biggest fan of television, but I think that if it's not on a few hours a week I'm missing out on something. I've learned that volcanoes in Hawaii sing songs in tones lower than audible to the human ear, and if you want to make salmon burgers that aren't too dry add some mushrooms and onions to them.
This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their "dark side" online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don't like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren't being judged.
While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don't have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren't good enough friends to begin with if they can't stick by you in a time of extreme change.
Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.
I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I'm one of them. However, in the past year I've had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it's amazing what we can accomplish.
My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let's quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.
This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their "dark side" online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don't like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren't being judged.
While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don't have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren't good enough friends to begin with if they can't stick by you in a time of extreme change.
Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.
I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I'm one of them. However, in the past year I've had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it's amazing what we can accomplish.
My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let's quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
"But Brawndo's got what plants crave."
While traveling in Ireland and Spain my friend and I noticed a lot of things that weren't like the United States. Some of them were just plain silliness--Booze 2 Go was on every corner in Dublin and Museo del Jamon (The Ham Museum) was quite possible Madrid's most popular hang-out.
There were other things, however, that we noticed ourselves being perplexed about that seemed to have a similar theme. All the bars closed at different times. We would go to a pub in Ireland and they would close but we could grab a beer next door for another hour or two. In Spain we would leave one bar, go to another and be told to leave an hour later--this pattern continued until about 5am. Also, crosswalks were never on the corners and street rarely intersected at 90 degree angles. And there were never really any clear-cut rules about where one could or could not smoke.
Now my friend and I pride ourselves in the fact that we aren't programmed. We have made it into our late twenties without kids, husbands, or houses. We aren't chasing the "American Dream." But after a few days of noticing these things that bothered or perplexed us about Europe, we realized that we are used to some uniformity and that, indeed, we are programmed.
Some may argue that uniformity is important, and I tend to agree. What I have a problem with is doing something simply because it is always done that way, or because it is "easiest." My friend and I agreed that the different bar closings were a great idea because there isn't a mad rush for cabs and a great exodus to deal with. But we doubted that it would be received very well here because well, things have always been done that way.
I'm not proposing a great change in the bar industry or anything like that. I am proposing that we think about the things that are a certain way just because they have always been that way in our lives. Is there a better way to do things? Do we even need to have some of these habits? Are they just the residue of our lives that we haven't dealt with, kind of like the stove we've left uncleaned for months? I know routine can be important, but I think it can also make us lazy. I guess I'm saying to myself: Get out of the habit of habit.
There were other things, however, that we noticed ourselves being perplexed about that seemed to have a similar theme. All the bars closed at different times. We would go to a pub in Ireland and they would close but we could grab a beer next door for another hour or two. In Spain we would leave one bar, go to another and be told to leave an hour later--this pattern continued until about 5am. Also, crosswalks were never on the corners and street rarely intersected at 90 degree angles. And there were never really any clear-cut rules about where one could or could not smoke.
Now my friend and I pride ourselves in the fact that we aren't programmed. We have made it into our late twenties without kids, husbands, or houses. We aren't chasing the "American Dream." But after a few days of noticing these things that bothered or perplexed us about Europe, we realized that we are used to some uniformity and that, indeed, we are programmed.
Some may argue that uniformity is important, and I tend to agree. What I have a problem with is doing something simply because it is always done that way, or because it is "easiest." My friend and I agreed that the different bar closings were a great idea because there isn't a mad rush for cabs and a great exodus to deal with. But we doubted that it would be received very well here because well, things have always been done that way.
I'm not proposing a great change in the bar industry or anything like that. I am proposing that we think about the things that are a certain way just because they have always been that way in our lives. Is there a better way to do things? Do we even need to have some of these habits? Are they just the residue of our lives that we haven't dealt with, kind of like the stove we've left uncleaned for months? I know routine can be important, but I think it can also make us lazy. I guess I'm saying to myself: Get out of the habit of habit.
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