Most problems can be solved with movie quotes

One of my favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. While I believe most of the lines are quotable (and I do), one conversation from the movie in particular I like is this:

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.

Sally Albright: Why?

Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, 'How come you never take me to the airport anymore?'

Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

My friends and I were talking about how people have their relationship status listed on Facebook. We were against it for the most part. Our arguments with it mostly had to do with privacy and the like. And of course, really, if someone would like to know, they could just ask.

While that is one of the reasons I stopped listing my relationship status, the main reason is like Harry's above. I never want anyone to say to me "How come you're not listed as in a relationship with me on Facebook?"

If that makes me the angel of death, then so be it.

Good girlfriends--every woman deserves them

I've been watching PBS lately. I'm not the biggest fan of television, but I think that if it's not on a few hours a week I'm missing out on something. I've learned that volcanoes in Hawaii sing songs in tones lower than audible to the human ear, and if you want to make salmon burgers that aren't too dry add some mushrooms and onions to them.

This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their "dark side" online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don't like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren't being judged.

While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don't have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren't good enough friends to begin with if they can't stick by you in a time of extreme change.

Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.

I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I'm one of them. However, in the past year I've had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it's amazing what we can accomplish.

My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let's quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.

I'd like you to meet my long-time lover Minneapolis.

The past two weekends I have been entertaining out-of-town guests. It's something I enjoy doing because I love to cook, drink, eat, dance and meander, all of which I have a free pass to do when friends are in town. (I can't do laundry -- I have company!) Add that to the fact that I love showing people around Minneapolis, and it makes for ridiculous fun.

The thing is these are new friends. And they aren't from another state; they're from another country: Sweden. I'm not a competitive sort on many levels, but when it comes to my home I'm pretty damn proud. My city can definitely kick your city's ass. But that's when it comes from the U.S. You're from Europe? Your city is 1000 years old? Suddenly I feel like I do when people start talking wine -- way out of my league.

But Minneapolis took care of it for me. One of my new favorite local bands, Just.Live, happened to have a gig last weekend. (They don't play in town often these days.) It suddenly became spring in late November making it easy for me to show off the sculpture garden and the great walks around the lakes. Did you know the Foshay Tower has an observation deck? There may not be mountains in Minneapolis, but that was the next best thing. And I love how easy it is to wander into a bar in Northeast with absolutely no plan and end up heading to see Alex Rossi and company at a venue even I've never been to.

So now it's Sunday and it snowed. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect way to spend the weekend and my friend doesn't want to leave. I gotta say I don't blame her. Minneapolis makes life pretty effortless. It's no wonder I ended staying here for seven years.

When I paint this into larger brushstrokes I see how real relationships are effortless as well. I'm not saying there aren't times when you want to call it quits with friends or family (Minneapolis winters are no picnic), but when it's good it happens without trying. You don't have to speak. You can read and paint without a worry what the other is doing, just enjoying each other's presence. Just comfortable.

What’s the point of all this pointless proximity?

December 19, 2007 - Wednesday

Are there people standing right next to you that you forget about? Do you see through people or not even hear what they are really saying? I know we all do it but maybe you do it more than others. Stop.

Maybe some people really don't want to be heard or seen. I don't know if I believe that, but it could be true. I think everyone wants people to care about them and be genuinely interested. This part of the year is hard on a lot of people. Pay attention to the people you care about. I'm going to try very hard to do the same.