Justification--I could have been a lawyer with all the loopholes I find, even in my own logic!

This weekend I went to a few bars in downtown Santa Cruz. I remember recently reading that smoking has been banned on the main street, coincidentally right where I was puffing away. The next day I went to the beach. The same legislation that banned my activity outside the bars has now restricted smoking on public beaches. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?

In my quest to find balance in the past few years, I have become something of a walking contradiction. I am, after all, a vegetarian who enjoys a good steak. Even though I'm a beer snob, you'll still find Hamm's in my refrigerator. Y'know, to keep me on even footing. Er..or something like that.

I have kinda used the idea of balance to justify the pack of cigarettes in my purse. I work out. I eat well. I just happen to be addicted to cigarettes.

Then I thought if I could just change the addiction to an enjoyment, then I would achieve this elusive balance as a smoker/non-smoker. But alas, it just wasn't in the cards. This was an all-or-nothing undertaking for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in the effort to achieve balance, not everything can be so middle-ground. There has to be some things that we need to be extreme about. And it's different for everyone.

There are things we love and are good for us. Things that are OK to permeate our lives with. To be extreme with, like biking, reading or watching baseball (OK that might just be me!).

But there are other things that we must eradicate from our lives, that we can not allow anywhere near us, because we aren't able to control them. Those things could be physical, like addictions to alcohol or other substances. Or maybe they're mental, like a bad relationship that can not be mended.

I guess the idea is to recognize what we can balance and what we can not. And try to balance our extreme behaviors. Like I'll avoid smoking like the plague, but I will watch almost every playoff game in October. That's balance, right?!?

I challenge you to a duel...or perhaps a dual?

Recently I cleaned my refrigerator, microwave and toaster. These are not projects I enjoy, but the end result is always quite pleasing. It occurred to me about halfway through that if I were to clean them more often (the current rate being about once every few months), it would be much easier and less...unpleasant.

I've made a habit of looking at the small things in life and seeing the positive in them. It's created a world of beauty, love and wonder for me.

And so in my new quest for balance, I'm trying to do the same. Look at what surrounds me. Learn from life: the greatest teacher of all. And life is telling me that the food in the microwave would be easier to scrape off and the leftovers would be better tended to in the refrigerator if I just made a small effort more often. I wouldn't have to go to extremes, using chemicals and paint scrapers, to get the results I wanted.

The bottom line is this: maintaining balance is not a weekend retreat. This is not something anyone can do for a few hours a week and check it off their to-do list. It's an attitude. It's a brain path that needs to be created. And just like the path in the woods, the more often it's traveled the easier it becomes.

So in the spirit of sanguinity, I challenge myself (and others) to find the lesson of the middle-ground in every day moments. And while it may be challenging and unpleasant, the end result is inevitably worth the effort.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

This weekend I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and saw a great white shark. It was pretty amazing. These sharks don't do well in captivity. They are rescued, cared for and released quickly back to the ocean. I was really blessed to be able to get there and see it.

One of my life goals is to swim with great white sharks. You know--in a giant cage surrounded by bloody fish guts.

For the longest time I thought that it would take ages for me to realize that goal. Actually, there are a lot of life goals I have that seem pretty overwhelming: see the Olympics, live in Ireland, perfect the over easy egg. But I realized on the day I visited the aquarium that it's all about taking little steps to make the big thing happen.

My goal is to swim with the sharks. I've now seen a live great white in person. I live near the ocean. It's only a matter of time before I'll be swimming with them. My goal is to see the Olympics. I have friends of friends that ski in the Olympics and the winter games are in Vancouver next. I happen to know someone who lives there. I want to live in Ireland. I've visited several areas. I also have a good friend who will help me get a visa and find a place to stay. The eggs? Well, I just keep trying.

I guess the pattern I'm noticing in this is that a big life goal is just a series of small steps. There's a tendency to look at the large picture and get discouraged. But really, it's all about finding the path and walking along, asking for directions. This is not an all-or-nothing thing--that's too extreme. If we looked at it that way, we could be tempted to not do anything at all.

Doing the little things in between is what is really important. Patience and following through is how we can achieve all things, big and small---swimming with sharks and cooking eggs.