Monday, September 28, 2009

Justification--I could have been a lawyer with all the loopholes I find, even in my own logic!

This weekend I went to a few bars in downtown Santa Cruz. I remember recently reading that smoking has been banned on the main street, coincidentally right where I was puffing away. The next day I went to the beach. The same legislation that banned my activity outside the bars has now restricted smoking on public beaches. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?

In my quest to find balance in the past few years, I have become something of a walking contradiction. I am, after all, a vegetarian who enjoys a good steak. Even though I'm a beer snob, you'll still find Hamm's in my refrigerator. Y'know, to keep me on even footing. Er..or something like that.

I have kinda used the idea of balance to justify the pack of cigarettes in my purse. I work out. I eat well. I just happen to be addicted to cigarettes.

Then I thought if I could just change the addiction to an enjoyment, then I would achieve this elusive balance as a smoker/non-smoker. But alas, it just wasn't in the cards. This was an all-or-nothing undertaking for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in the effort to achieve balance, not everything can be so middle-ground. There has to be some things that we need to be extreme about. And it's different for everyone.

There are things we love and are good for us. Things that are OK to permeate our lives with. To be extreme with, like biking, reading or watching baseball (OK that might just be me!).

But there are other things that we must eradicate from our lives, that we can not allow anywhere near us, because we aren't able to control them. Those things could be physical, like addictions to alcohol or other substances. Or maybe they're mental, like a bad relationship that can not be mended.

I guess the idea is to recognize what we can balance and what we can not. And try to balance our extreme behaviors. Like I'll avoid smoking like the plague, but I will watch almost every playoff game in October. That's balance, right?!?

4 comments:

Welsh Tramp said...

That is a brilliant read, I can only wish you all the luck in the world.

I remember being in Cali and having to hide every time i had a ciggy, i did think to myself that this is the best cure for smoking, just not being allowed to do it all the time, and making it far to much effort to do it, imagine hiding behind a dumpster with three other people having a smoke, makes you wonder.

Ms. Becca said...

It's true! I have been looking for cigarette smokers this week and I have seen one! One!!!

Anonymous said...

Ok Since I'm basically cyber-stalking you now and I have managed to eat up a perfectly good afternoon of work browsing your FB page and eating pastries in 1/4 segments, I feel it's my earned right to comment.
I am suggesting that Balance is terribly overrated and to put it plainly, a pain in the ass.

I'm not a lazy man by any means, however consciously attempting to bring about self change or some sort of personal regulation to facilitate some idea that it will bring about positive balance, or somehow placate, is just too much work for me.

If it feels good, do it until it kills you!

...and I agree, brilliant read!

Ms. Becca said...

Mmm...pastries. Haha! I think it's great my FB page and blog took up your afternoon at work. It's a very productive waste of time!

I agree with you that balance is a pain in the ass. It's an elusive bastard as well. The thing is, it's not about work for me. It's something to keep me from floating off this planet. Something to keep me grounded. I am what some people call a little "out there." Haha!

And are you trying to give me justification to start smoking again? (Because it wouldn't take much LOL!)Damn it! This is NOT helping.