Goals are like the roadmaps to life

My friend and I were chatting this afternoon, and he was waxing sentimental about a certain girl. It would be a year ago (in 11 days, 15 hours and 32 minutes) that she had left for Australia. It was sweet, albeit a little sappy, and it made me smile. I was getting all misty. Then he asked, "What were you doing at this time last year?"

Holy Jesus. Stop the show. Go back a year? I did. Thought about it. Talked about it a little. And the conversation flowed again. But what was it about that question that caught me off guard?

The topic of goals has been coming up in conversation a lot lately. (Probably because the season of death is almost upon us, and we're doing the natural assessment of another cycle's passing.) So I started thinking about the goals I had for the last year and what came of them.

• Travel to Europe--actually going to make it there twice. Damn! Not bad at all!


• Move to another state--California resident? Check!


• Write a book or screenplay--not quite, still working on it...that may be on the list for awhile


• Go boyfriendless for awhile--single for almost two years!


• Go for a solid motorcycle ride this summer--3.5 hours in the mountains and along Hwy 1. Couldn't ask for a much cooler ride than that.


• Surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person--Yup!


• Pursue balance--working on it!


• Go to a baseball game in California--looks like this one might not be a reality unless I can get down to L.A.

I'm going to pat myself on the back for this list. I did almost everything I wanted to do this year. To be honest, I just learned the power and magic of setting goals. I had never really done it before. I mean, yeah, I had the occasional New Year's resolution, but I always made those really easy: floss every day, eat 3 fruits or veggies a day, etc. This was my first attempt at sitting down and making some reasonable and not-so-attainable goals.

I think the reason I was so nervous about answering my friend's question is that I used to dread shit like that as a kid. Remember being in high school and all the adults would ask, Where are you going to college? and then it's When are you getting married? and then it's Where are you thinking of buying a house? And this pattern of questioning continues until we have children and then they can start badgering them instead of us. Anyway, I always hated those questions because they were based in assumption. And god forbid we should say, Eh...I don't really feel like going to college.

The cool thing is though, once you start having your own goals, questions like my friend's are much more fun to answer. I wonder if some "adults" had stopped asking the assuming questions, if adolescence would have been easier. Ha! I doubt it.

I think the more often we set goals, the easier they are to attain. And they keep us moving forward. But it's an active process. We must participate in our lives, or we'll end up waking up one day with a spouse, house and kids and say Woah woah woah! When did this happen? Not that there's anything wrong with said things--I'm just suggesting we make sure they're our ideas and not the product of someone else setting our goals. If we actively set and work toward goals, I'm fairly certain we can do anything. That's why that screenplay goal will stay on my list!