At least it wasn’t a Taser death

July 27, 2008 - Sunday

Yesterday morning I stepped outside to a cop car and ambulance parked in the alley. At first I wasn't going to ask what happened, but because my neighbor is new to the area I felt complled to assure the city was safe.

I approached the officer and asked if something bad happened in my building. He balked a bit at telling me but ended up saying that some guy beat up his girlfriend. I thanked him and told my neighbor that we didn't have anything to worry about--it was just a domestic dispute.

It didn't dawn on me until a little later how tragic it was. It's awful that a woman was hurt by her lover. What's even worse is how quickly I filed it into the category of "Not My Problem."

I wonder how often I do that without even thinking about it. I like to think I'm an optimistic, upbeat person. Is that because I ignore a lot of reality or because I look at the good side of it?

I thought Mel Gibson was convincing in "Conspiracy Theory"

July 24, 2008 - Thursday

Today I drank a Coca Cola at work. I was trying to explain my forbidden love affair with it when my friend asked me if I would like to eat an entire cup of brown sugar because, really, that's all it is. I responded that I thought it was high-fructose corn syrup. Her eyes got wide and with a very serious look she said, "Corn is so horrible. Corn is the root of all evil."

After one of the best laughs I have had in a long time -- you know the kind where there are tears streaming down your face, your stomach aches and you're gasping for air -- I asked what the hell she could possibly mean. She proceeds to tell me about a PBS documentary (called King Corn I believe) that she saw. It told of all the ills of corn and how there was some sort of marketing shift in the '70s to brainwash all of us into thinking it was good. "It's man made," she said solemnly.

This launched me back into a place I haven't been in a while. How is it possible to be socially concious when there are so many things wrong with the world? How much of it is hype and how much is truly threatening?

I like to adopt the Mark Twain way of looking at things: "I've known a lot of troubles in my time -- and most of them never happened." Resolve not to worry. I'm not saying we shouldn't all have our causes we truly believe in, but I think it is too easy to get overwhelmed by all that could be wrong. And when that happens nothing gets done.

Park Point reminds me of the ocean in many ways

July 20, 2008 - Sunday

I sat on the beach yesterday and it rained after 30 minutes or so. Today I laid out at the beach for about two hours. I played sand volleyball on a patio downtown. What a lovely weekend. I can't believe I didn't start enjoying them sooner.

I have this book called 50 Things that Really Matter. It has things like bubble baths, a good cup of coffee and afternoon naps.The idea of the book is to find value in what really matters in life instead of looking for meaning in material things. I guess I don't really have a problem with that, but I like the book.

There are so many things that make me sigh with contentment. I think I could fill a book with hundreds of things that really matter. The one that comes to mind today though is going barefoot in the sand. The grittiness in between your toes and how soft it makes your feet feel--it always reminds me of summer. Plus I love how different places have different types of sand and how soft some of it can be. And isn't it crazy how sand can be so hot it can burn you?

Things change and get crazy sometimes but I think these sort of things need to be considered more often than they maybe do. At least that's my take on it today.

Who brought in the coffee cup that asks "Who wants to kill a millionare?"

July 9, 2008 - Wednesday

I no longer own a car. But when I did, I loved to belt out "Somebody to Love" by Queen. I do a mean rendition when I get around to karoke. I swear it. But this simple pleasure is one of many that I forget until I'm reminded by the random selection on my stereo.

I ran out of contacts and had to wear my glasses for three weeks! In summer! not only is it hot and sweaty and hard to deal with but I LOVE wearing sunglasses.

Goodness, the small things. Habits that are hard to break. Aren't they things that might annoy you at times but really you embrace?

Optimism might seem a bit off. Pragmatism isn't half bad right? I say embrace and laugh at all of the things you can't live without that make no sense. Love them and change them often.

Here are a few assignments I have undertaken:

-Quit skipping past songs when I have my stereo on random. Isn't that the point?
-Do the things I always say "I should do that sometime" to. (ie: eat at a certain restaurant, go to a particular park, etc.)
-Slow down and remember smells. Ah the Japanese lilacs get me every time!
-Notice the patterns of people in my day--the motorcyclist who likes to break with his feet on 2nd Ave and the bicyclist with the cool Pumas.

I struggle with where to put the apostrophe in "two weeks’ notice"

July 4, 2008 - Friday

I supposed the requisite "Happy Independence Day" is in order. But also let's celebrate my independence from the Rock Bottom.

That's right. After more than six years, finally, it's time to leave. The reason, I have been telling people, is that I'm going back to school in January so I want to have a little time to have a life before that.

But do I need a reason? How about I don't wanna work so much? Maybe having a few days off a week kicks so much ass I can't do it justice with words...and I fancy myself a writer.

I was talking to a friend from Rock Bottom today and I told her the money wasn't really making or breaking me so I didn't want it anymore. And she said something like so many people are in the rat race to make more money just to make more money. And that's about it. Quality of life suffers and it's just bad news.

Now don't get me wrong. I love having money to spend the way I want and I enjoy being comfortable. But who has time to spend it when you're working all the time? And I know damn well that working two jobs isn't comfortable. You can get used to it but it's never what you want.
I used to think I loved to be busy and I do still thrive in a stressful environment, but I know now that in this case, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

A duh moment.

In the last week I have kind of been wondering what it is I do all day. I mean, yes I deal with lawyers and paralegals and provide customer service and make affidavits of publication and do data work. But is this really what I'm doing all day?

And then I decided to quit one job, go back to school, realize life and control the only thing I can: myself and my choices. Within these few weeks I have been shown that doing what I really think is good for me will actually benefit me. Imagine that!

The opportunities that I've been presented with at work, at home and with friends may have always been there, but this abstract thought has finally made a point to me.

I take care of myself and suddenly I feel so much more at peace. God bless it!

Last night was a good night for outdoor baseball

Before last night I had been to nine Twins games this year. All of them we won. My blissful winning streak came to a halt last night thanks to the Tigers. It was a good game but we ended up losing 5-4.

I'm not so upset about my undefeated status -- all good things must come to an end. I have to admit I'm a bit of a Tigers fan so I'm happy to have it happen with them. Ah the silver lining. Every cloud has one.