A letter to my 18-year-old self

I was inspired by this blog post to write a letter to my younger self. Here's a picture of who I am writing to:

That's me on the right.

Dear Rebecca,

You don’t know me, but I am you. I am writing to you from about 12 years in the future. I know you have an active imagination, but you still may have trouble grasping that. Just know that rolling your jeans is coming back into style, the planet is still in one piece (barely), and thankfully people are still listening to The Cure.

I have thought about a lot of different things to say to you. I like to write, as you know, and this letter could be miles long. I wonder if you would devour it or toss it aside to read when you had “time.” I’d like to think your rabid curiosity could sustain your interest, but you’re in high school right now, so let’s be realistic. You have other things to do.

I thought about telling you to pick your writing teacher’s brain, to not start smoking, and to skip the math major bullshit, but I know you hate being told what to do, so I’ll skip that. I would like you to know that someday you’ll laugh about being called a slut when you were a virgin and pity those who teased you for god-knows-what, but I know all of that hurts now. And plus, it makes you a stronger woman. (Just keep your chin up, girl!)

This is all I have: Every decision you are about to make is the right one. Not necessarily at that moment. Or even for the moment after that. You will experience setbacks that you think you’ll never recover from. You will wonder why the hell you were put on this planet.

But know this: The life you have is amazing. And 12 years from where you are now, you are going to look back and not have a single regret. What you do now makes you what you are later. Be confident. You will get what you want, even if it takes a few tries.

I love you. I'm proud of you. Keep up the optimistic attitude. It suits you.

Your friend,

Rebecca

Will you sign my yearbook?

I started listening to my iPod again earlier this week. One of the first songs it went to on random was "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. I had to laugh a little at myself for how much angst I had as a teenager. But it got me thinking...and then I read my cousin's note on Facebook about adolescence.

I often mutter the phrase "You couldn't pay me enough money to go through high school again." I like to think If only I knew then what I know now. But lately I have to wonder how much things have changed:

• When getting ready for a house-warming party, I chastised myself for wondering what I should wear. My friend called me a few minutes later with the same question.
• My friends and I still analyze the notes (emails, texts) we get from friends and romantic interests. Gossip and boys are still at the top of the order of most of our conversations.
• I know where the cute boys work in the skyway. (Again with the boys!)
• Try as I might, I still care what people think of me. I don't think I'm alone here.

As I sat trying to write some poignant advice to my cousin from someone who had "been there" I realized that maybe I still am there. Yeah sure, I might not be teased for being a band nerd anymore (well not teased often anyway) but the self-centered, adolescent mentality that everyone else is thinking something about you is still there. This reminds me of two things I read somewhere:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.