I'd like you to meet my long-time lover Minneapolis.

The past two weekends I have been entertaining out-of-town guests. It's something I enjoy doing because I love to cook, drink, eat, dance and meander, all of which I have a free pass to do when friends are in town. (I can't do laundry -- I have company!) Add that to the fact that I love showing people around Minneapolis, and it makes for ridiculous fun.

The thing is these are new friends. And they aren't from another state; they're from another country: Sweden. I'm not a competitive sort on many levels, but when it comes to my home I'm pretty damn proud. My city can definitely kick your city's ass. But that's when it comes from the U.S. You're from Europe? Your city is 1000 years old? Suddenly I feel like I do when people start talking wine -- way out of my league.

But Minneapolis took care of it for me. One of my new favorite local bands, Just.Live, happened to have a gig last weekend. (They don't play in town often these days.) It suddenly became spring in late November making it easy for me to show off the sculpture garden and the great walks around the lakes. Did you know the Foshay Tower has an observation deck? There may not be mountains in Minneapolis, but that was the next best thing. And I love how easy it is to wander into a bar in Northeast with absolutely no plan and end up heading to see Alex Rossi and company at a venue even I've never been to.

So now it's Sunday and it snowed. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect way to spend the weekend and my friend doesn't want to leave. I gotta say I don't blame her. Minneapolis makes life pretty effortless. It's no wonder I ended staying here for seven years.

When I paint this into larger brushstrokes I see how real relationships are effortless as well. I'm not saying there aren't times when you want to call it quits with friends or family (Minneapolis winters are no picnic), but when it's good it happens without trying. You don't have to speak. You can read and paint without a worry what the other is doing, just enjoying each other's presence. Just comfortable.

My security blanket is on fire

On the eve of the union election at work I have become painfully aware of uncertainty. Will we vote to be in the union or not? For months I have been telling myself how important it is to be comfortable being uncomfortable, and I gotta say I thought I was getting pretty good at it.

My friend and I were talking about words or concepts that are meaningless. Things like "normal" and "perfect" were two we could both agree on. The words mean something so different to everyone. And tonight I wonder: What is certainty? What is comfort? Are these words so relative that they are also nebulous?

What are we certain of? The old adage tells us only taxes and death. What provides us comfort? I would argue that many of the things we think provide us comfort are only habits long formed.

People will stay in an unsatisfying relationship with their dentist, spouse, hairdresser, etc. just because the thought of leaving is too much of a hassle. We cook the same six recipes because our brains don't have to work to choose new ones, remember to buy ingredients and go through different motions in the kitchen. The more I think about the things that provide me with what I thought was comfort, the more I realize maybe I've just been doing them because I've always been doing them.

I read a story about how an old spiritual teacher would tie his cat up while he was leading meditation to keep it from bothering others. The teacher died but the cat lived for a few more years, during which time it would always be tied up during meditation. When the cat died no one would meditate because they believed the cat needed to be tied up in order for meditation to be effective. They never knew or had forgotten the reason it was tied up to begin with.

Being comfortable has led to a lot of laziness. Asking why we do things and why something makes us feel the way it does may take a little work, but is well worth it. We may suddenly see why life is so beautiful and how little we need for it to be that way.

Will you sign my yearbook?

I started listening to my iPod again earlier this week. One of the first songs it went to on random was "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. I had to laugh a little at myself for how much angst I had as a teenager. But it got me thinking...and then I read my cousin's note on Facebook about adolescence.

I often mutter the phrase "You couldn't pay me enough money to go through high school again." I like to think If only I knew then what I know now. But lately I have to wonder how much things have changed:

• When getting ready for a house-warming party, I chastised myself for wondering what I should wear. My friend called me a few minutes later with the same question.
• My friends and I still analyze the notes (emails, texts) we get from friends and romantic interests. Gossip and boys are still at the top of the order of most of our conversations.
• I know where the cute boys work in the skyway. (Again with the boys!)
• Try as I might, I still care what people think of me. I don't think I'm alone here.

As I sat trying to write some poignant advice to my cousin from someone who had "been there" I realized that maybe I still am there. Yeah sure, I might not be teased for being a band nerd anymore (well not teased often anyway) but the self-centered, adolescent mentality that everyone else is thinking something about you is still there. This reminds me of two things I read somewhere:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.