New Years' Blessings

To those who resolved to lose weight this year: may you get through the tough times, avoid temptation and foster a great love for all things vegetable (without the butter).

To those who resolved to spend more time with loved ones: may you develop a knack for time management, the ability to say 'no' more often and an unwillingness to stay past 5pm at work.

To those who resolved to quit smoking: may you meet people who dislike cigarette smoke as much as you like it, seek other alternatives and not kill anyone.

For those who resolved to take a trip: may your savings account grow by leaps and bounds, your passport arrive unharmed and your layovers be short (but not too short).

The Fairy Godmother of New Years' Resolutions blesses all of your resolutions, big or small. Here's to dreams coming true in 2010!

All I needed to know this year I learned in 2009

In the past few weeks my mailbox has been full of Christmas newsletters. My niece is having her first Christmas, my cousin shot three deer (mmm....venison) and another cousin is getting married (congrats Sarah and Dan!).


While some people find these a little self-important, (including myself when I let the cynic out of the basement), I think they serve a great purpose on keeping people up to date on life and also helping to reflect back on the year. It's with that in mind that I write my 2009 newsletter.


This year has been more about learning than any time I spent in college. I've stretched and grown in more ways than I thought were possible. Here are some highlights from what I've learned in 2009:

• You can wear the same pair of jeans to both coasts of the United States without washing them. A weekend roadtrip to Washington D.C. for no real reason and a plane ride to L.A. to visit an old friend a week later proved that.



• Be careful what you wish for. "I wish we could spend one more night in Dublin," I said to Jean sadly on our last night in Ireland. This led to the following lesson.



• Most planning is unnecessary, except when it comes to travel. Oops! Did we miss our trans-Atlantic flight home? That happens. Right?



• A lot of times, the right choice is the hardest choice. Saying goodbye to the comfort of my home, my city and my friends was one of the toughest things I've ever done. But I haven't regretted it for a second. Not even when I was really missing Wednesday girls night.



• Be confident. Don't question yourself. There were a few times when I worried I wouldn't find a job, wouldn't make friends or would end up in the street like a real crazy lady. But I kept my chin up and believed in myself. Job? Check! Friends? Yes! Crazy lady? Always have been, but I'm still sleeping in a bed!



• Make goals. Even if you don't accomplish them, you gain something in the process. My summer goal was to finagle a motorcycle ride. I didn't know anyone I wanted to sit behind on a bike, let alone trust with my life, but that was a minor detail. I ended up taking a great ride the weekend before Labor Day with a guy who would later end up being my unbelievably cool boyfriend. Bonus!



• Just Be. This isn't a new one, but it's one to remember every year. If it weren't for the time I spent Just Be-ing, I wouldn't have learned any of the other stuff.

I want to say thank you to those who have read, commented, and thought about commenting on my blog. I appreciate everyone who has invested their time into something I've created. It means a lot. Happy holidays!

Tomorrow is the Solstice! For a girl who grew up in the north country, this is something I looked forward to every year. And for an optimist, there are few better holidays.

Tomorrow marks the day with the least amount of light for the year. It's a tough time for many people. Going through day after day of waking up in darkness and leaving work in darkness is draining on even the toughest of psyches. I'm pretty sure that's why we have all of these holidays grouped around this time--to make it easier to handle. Whether that's the case is still up for debate.

While some might question the logic of celebrating the day with the shortest amount of light, it makes perfect sense to me. It can only get better. It can only be more light. Soon we'll rise with the sun again (a much more natural way to wake up) and play outside until we're thoroughly worn out.

It kind of reminds me of the ten of swords in the tarot. You can't get any more dead. The worst is over. You can't go anywhere but up. And while this may seem fatalistic to some, to me it's one of the best places to start. Because things just keep getting better.

A letter to my 18-year-old self

I was inspired by this blog post to write a letter to my younger self. Here's a picture of who I am writing to:

That's me on the right.

Dear Rebecca,

You don’t know me, but I am you. I am writing to you from about 12 years in the future. I know you have an active imagination, but you still may have trouble grasping that. Just know that rolling your jeans is coming back into style, the planet is still in one piece (barely), and thankfully people are still listening to The Cure.

I have thought about a lot of different things to say to you. I like to write, as you know, and this letter could be miles long. I wonder if you would devour it or toss it aside to read when you had “time.” I’d like to think your rabid curiosity could sustain your interest, but you’re in high school right now, so let’s be realistic. You have other things to do.

I thought about telling you to pick your writing teacher’s brain, to not start smoking, and to skip the math major bullshit, but I know you hate being told what to do, so I’ll skip that. I would like you to know that someday you’ll laugh about being called a slut when you were a virgin and pity those who teased you for god-knows-what, but I know all of that hurts now. And plus, it makes you a stronger woman. (Just keep your chin up, girl!)

This is all I have: Every decision you are about to make is the right one. Not necessarily at that moment. Or even for the moment after that. You will experience setbacks that you think you’ll never recover from. You will wonder why the hell you were put on this planet.

But know this: The life you have is amazing. And 12 years from where you are now, you are going to look back and not have a single regret. What you do now makes you what you are later. Be confident. You will get what you want, even if it takes a few tries.

I love you. I'm proud of you. Keep up the optimistic attitude. It suits you.

Your friend,

Rebecca

An ode to Joanne, or My mom rules

It's that time of year again, and I'm not talking about Christmas. It's Sagittarius birthday time. I tend to attract them. One of the centaurs that has been in my life the longest is my mother. In fact, it's her birthday tomorrow.

Now we've had our ups and downs, but the fact is that she agreed to give birth to me, raise me as best she could and then unleash me onto the world.

Here (in no particular order) are five things that remind me of my mom, Joanne.

My mom read this book to me when I was very young. In fact, she instilled in me a great love of reading. Because of this, her attempts to get me to go to sleep at a decent hour were no match for the flashlight and good book I had under my bed. I was accused of not being a morning person--how much of a morning person could I be when I was up until 4am reading? Thanks Mom, for giving me the gift of reading. (I wouldn't be a writer without it.)

OK I know it's cheesy, but my mom would sing this song to me at night before I went to bed. And it's one of my favorite memories of being young. And it reminds me of how (as my mom told it) when I was born it was a record breaking heat wave, and she and I would open the windows in the hospital and reach for the sun.

Love it or hate it, it reminds me of my mom. "I'll have a small french fry and a medium diet coke." I can't count the number of times I have been on the phone with her and she says, "Hold on, I'm just in the drive through... *speaks above order* ...so anyway, I was playing this beautiful song on the piano..." If my mom wasn't in such good shape, I would say something to her about it. But hey, she laid off me and my smoking, so I can't say much. And since there is a McDonalds in every country around the world, this assures that I will think of her no matter where I go.

Lefse. My mom helped me achieve a life-long goal last year when she came to my apartment and showed me how to make lefse, a Norwegian treat. It was something that had long mystified and intimidated me. And it was delicious.

Mom went out, took a class and voila! She became a lefse extraordinaire! And when I was asked to make lefse the night before Thanksgiving this year, I didn't bat an eye. You want five pounds? Oh yah, sure! You betcha!

These words:

You can do anything.

You can be anything.

You could run a small county.

My mom said these to me over and over and over. When I was younger I saw this as pressure on me to do everything. What took me a while to realize is that she was just telling me she believed in me. And there is nothing more important a mom can do.

I wouldn't be the woman I am today without Joanne. I wouldn't have moved across a continent with the hope that I could get paid as a writer and then actually get a job as a writer if it wasn't for her belief in me. And that is the coolest thing ever.

Mom, I love you. Thanks for putting your energy, love and devotion toward me. Thanks for never giving up on me. And thanks for being you. I hope you have a great birthday!

Optimist seeking similar

When I wake up most days, this is the first thing I see:

It used to be the scoreboard when the room I moved into was the ping-pong room. I know, I know! I ruined bachelor heaven.

When I first moved here I didn't know anyone or have a job, so I thought it would be a good idea to write down what I did have.

It's just grown from there. To be honest, after a few more months I should just take down the white board, paint the whole room white and break out a black sharpie. Hmmm...project anyone?

If you think I'm missing something up here, please help me out! It's three weeks before the Solstice and I'm struggling with the lack of light. Any light from other sources would be much appreciated!!

Perception Is Reality: It's not just cheezy corporate lingo anymore

People that spend time with me know that I keep a notebook in my purse at all times. I use this sometimes to write down directions, books that might interest me and movies that I should see.

But what I do with it more often is write down what people say -- things that strike me as funny. If I write something down and you said it, usually it's a compliment. But once in a while I'm secretly making fun of you. This is one of the joy of being friends with, coworkers with or anyone that spends a lot of time with a writer.

I read an old entry recently:

A boss of mine (I won't say her name, but I'll bet some of you can guess) said "I was in the break room heating up some oatmeal and someone said 'Blah blah blah' to me. I couldn't remember who said it because I am so self-absorbed."

Now, she could have meant that she was absorbed in her own thoughts at that moment. But because she used the present tense, I took it to mean that, well, she is pretty self-absorbed. And that amused me at the time.

Last week I was reading my horoscope. That may seem a bit cheesy, but the guy I like is nationally syndicated and quite clever. He's a good writer and happens to be dead-on in my case. Or has been for the past three years. He is part of the reason I am not an unhappy wife with children right now.

(I can't help but endorse him: Robert Breszny--Free Will Astrology http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/ Check him out. Very into optimism!)

My horoscope said that my superpower was the ability to change myself. If, for instance, I was tired of being surrounded by poor listeners and flaky collaborators, I should decide to transform that pattern in my life.

Over the past few weeks I noticed my writing has been heavy with frustration over the fact that some people who have come into my life recently have been really self-absorbed. I was feeling sorry for myself about how no one is listening and everything is so one-sided and yadda yadda yadda. It was a regular pity-party to be honest.

But just like how I can read into something my boss said, my perception of how I believe people are is how they will tend to be. So if I can transform myself and my perception, I believe that some of these people will be better listeners and true friends.

In fact, they probably already are. But only by transforming my attitude will they become that way. Oh hell, and if they aren't...well that line of thinking doesn't suit me too well. But if they aren't, then I guess it just helps me to achieve balance in the friendship department. Regardless, here I go trying to grow again!