New Years' Blessings

To those who resolved to lose weight this year: may you get through the tough times, avoid temptation and foster a great love for all things vegetable (without the butter).

To those who resolved to spend more time with loved ones: may you develop a knack for time management, the ability to say 'no' more often and an unwillingness to stay past 5pm at work.

To those who resolved to quit smoking: may you meet people who dislike cigarette smoke as much as you like it, seek other alternatives and not kill anyone.

For those who resolved to take a trip: may your savings account grow by leaps and bounds, your passport arrive unharmed and your layovers be short (but not too short).

The Fairy Godmother of New Years' Resolutions blesses all of your resolutions, big or small. Here's to dreams coming true in 2010!

All I needed to know this year I learned in 2009

In the past few weeks my mailbox has been full of Christmas newsletters. My niece is having her first Christmas, my cousin shot three deer (mmm....venison) and another cousin is getting married (congrats Sarah and Dan!).


While some people find these a little self-important, (including myself when I let the cynic out of the basement), I think they serve a great purpose on keeping people up to date on life and also helping to reflect back on the year. It's with that in mind that I write my 2009 newsletter.


This year has been more about learning than any time I spent in college. I've stretched and grown in more ways than I thought were possible. Here are some highlights from what I've learned in 2009:

• You can wear the same pair of jeans to both coasts of the United States without washing them. A weekend roadtrip to Washington D.C. for no real reason and a plane ride to L.A. to visit an old friend a week later proved that.



• Be careful what you wish for. "I wish we could spend one more night in Dublin," I said to Jean sadly on our last night in Ireland. This led to the following lesson.



• Most planning is unnecessary, except when it comes to travel. Oops! Did we miss our trans-Atlantic flight home? That happens. Right?



• A lot of times, the right choice is the hardest choice. Saying goodbye to the comfort of my home, my city and my friends was one of the toughest things I've ever done. But I haven't regretted it for a second. Not even when I was really missing Wednesday girls night.



• Be confident. Don't question yourself. There were a few times when I worried I wouldn't find a job, wouldn't make friends or would end up in the street like a real crazy lady. But I kept my chin up and believed in myself. Job? Check! Friends? Yes! Crazy lady? Always have been, but I'm still sleeping in a bed!



• Make goals. Even if you don't accomplish them, you gain something in the process. My summer goal was to finagle a motorcycle ride. I didn't know anyone I wanted to sit behind on a bike, let alone trust with my life, but that was a minor detail. I ended up taking a great ride the weekend before Labor Day with a guy who would later end up being my unbelievably cool boyfriend. Bonus!



• Just Be. This isn't a new one, but it's one to remember every year. If it weren't for the time I spent Just Be-ing, I wouldn't have learned any of the other stuff.

I want to say thank you to those who have read, commented, and thought about commenting on my blog. I appreciate everyone who has invested their time into something I've created. It means a lot. Happy holidays!

Tomorrow is the Solstice! For a girl who grew up in the north country, this is something I looked forward to every year. And for an optimist, there are few better holidays.

Tomorrow marks the day with the least amount of light for the year. It's a tough time for many people. Going through day after day of waking up in darkness and leaving work in darkness is draining on even the toughest of psyches. I'm pretty sure that's why we have all of these holidays grouped around this time--to make it easier to handle. Whether that's the case is still up for debate.

While some might question the logic of celebrating the day with the shortest amount of light, it makes perfect sense to me. It can only get better. It can only be more light. Soon we'll rise with the sun again (a much more natural way to wake up) and play outside until we're thoroughly worn out.

It kind of reminds me of the ten of swords in the tarot. You can't get any more dead. The worst is over. You can't go anywhere but up. And while this may seem fatalistic to some, to me it's one of the best places to start. Because things just keep getting better.

A letter to my 18-year-old self

I was inspired by this blog post to write a letter to my younger self. Here's a picture of who I am writing to:

That's me on the right.

Dear Rebecca,

You don’t know me, but I am you. I am writing to you from about 12 years in the future. I know you have an active imagination, but you still may have trouble grasping that. Just know that rolling your jeans is coming back into style, the planet is still in one piece (barely), and thankfully people are still listening to The Cure.

I have thought about a lot of different things to say to you. I like to write, as you know, and this letter could be miles long. I wonder if you would devour it or toss it aside to read when you had “time.” I’d like to think your rabid curiosity could sustain your interest, but you’re in high school right now, so let’s be realistic. You have other things to do.

I thought about telling you to pick your writing teacher’s brain, to not start smoking, and to skip the math major bullshit, but I know you hate being told what to do, so I’ll skip that. I would like you to know that someday you’ll laugh about being called a slut when you were a virgin and pity those who teased you for god-knows-what, but I know all of that hurts now. And plus, it makes you a stronger woman. (Just keep your chin up, girl!)

This is all I have: Every decision you are about to make is the right one. Not necessarily at that moment. Or even for the moment after that. You will experience setbacks that you think you’ll never recover from. You will wonder why the hell you were put on this planet.

But know this: The life you have is amazing. And 12 years from where you are now, you are going to look back and not have a single regret. What you do now makes you what you are later. Be confident. You will get what you want, even if it takes a few tries.

I love you. I'm proud of you. Keep up the optimistic attitude. It suits you.

Your friend,

Rebecca

An ode to Joanne, or My mom rules

It's that time of year again, and I'm not talking about Christmas. It's Sagittarius birthday time. I tend to attract them. One of the centaurs that has been in my life the longest is my mother. In fact, it's her birthday tomorrow.

Now we've had our ups and downs, but the fact is that she agreed to give birth to me, raise me as best she could and then unleash me onto the world.

Here (in no particular order) are five things that remind me of my mom, Joanne.

My mom read this book to me when I was very young. In fact, she instilled in me a great love of reading. Because of this, her attempts to get me to go to sleep at a decent hour were no match for the flashlight and good book I had under my bed. I was accused of not being a morning person--how much of a morning person could I be when I was up until 4am reading? Thanks Mom, for giving me the gift of reading. (I wouldn't be a writer without it.)

OK I know it's cheesy, but my mom would sing this song to me at night before I went to bed. And it's one of my favorite memories of being young. And it reminds me of how (as my mom told it) when I was born it was a record breaking heat wave, and she and I would open the windows in the hospital and reach for the sun.

Love it or hate it, it reminds me of my mom. "I'll have a small french fry and a medium diet coke." I can't count the number of times I have been on the phone with her and she says, "Hold on, I'm just in the drive through... *speaks above order* ...so anyway, I was playing this beautiful song on the piano..." If my mom wasn't in such good shape, I would say something to her about it. But hey, she laid off me and my smoking, so I can't say much. And since there is a McDonalds in every country around the world, this assures that I will think of her no matter where I go.

Lefse. My mom helped me achieve a life-long goal last year when she came to my apartment and showed me how to make lefse, a Norwegian treat. It was something that had long mystified and intimidated me. And it was delicious.

Mom went out, took a class and voila! She became a lefse extraordinaire! And when I was asked to make lefse the night before Thanksgiving this year, I didn't bat an eye. You want five pounds? Oh yah, sure! You betcha!

These words:

You can do anything.

You can be anything.

You could run a small county.

My mom said these to me over and over and over. When I was younger I saw this as pressure on me to do everything. What took me a while to realize is that she was just telling me she believed in me. And there is nothing more important a mom can do.

I wouldn't be the woman I am today without Joanne. I wouldn't have moved across a continent with the hope that I could get paid as a writer and then actually get a job as a writer if it wasn't for her belief in me. And that is the coolest thing ever.

Mom, I love you. Thanks for putting your energy, love and devotion toward me. Thanks for never giving up on me. And thanks for being you. I hope you have a great birthday!

Optimist seeking similar

When I wake up most days, this is the first thing I see:

It used to be the scoreboard when the room I moved into was the ping-pong room. I know, I know! I ruined bachelor heaven.

When I first moved here I didn't know anyone or have a job, so I thought it would be a good idea to write down what I did have.

It's just grown from there. To be honest, after a few more months I should just take down the white board, paint the whole room white and break out a black sharpie. Hmmm...project anyone?

If you think I'm missing something up here, please help me out! It's three weeks before the Solstice and I'm struggling with the lack of light. Any light from other sources would be much appreciated!!

Perception Is Reality: It's not just cheezy corporate lingo anymore

People that spend time with me know that I keep a notebook in my purse at all times. I use this sometimes to write down directions, books that might interest me and movies that I should see.

But what I do with it more often is write down what people say -- things that strike me as funny. If I write something down and you said it, usually it's a compliment. But once in a while I'm secretly making fun of you. This is one of the joy of being friends with, coworkers with or anyone that spends a lot of time with a writer.

I read an old entry recently:

A boss of mine (I won't say her name, but I'll bet some of you can guess) said "I was in the break room heating up some oatmeal and someone said 'Blah blah blah' to me. I couldn't remember who said it because I am so self-absorbed."

Now, she could have meant that she was absorbed in her own thoughts at that moment. But because she used the present tense, I took it to mean that, well, she is pretty self-absorbed. And that amused me at the time.

Last week I was reading my horoscope. That may seem a bit cheesy, but the guy I like is nationally syndicated and quite clever. He's a good writer and happens to be dead-on in my case. Or has been for the past three years. He is part of the reason I am not an unhappy wife with children right now.

(I can't help but endorse him: Robert Breszny--Free Will Astrology http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/ Check him out. Very into optimism!)

My horoscope said that my superpower was the ability to change myself. If, for instance, I was tired of being surrounded by poor listeners and flaky collaborators, I should decide to transform that pattern in my life.

Over the past few weeks I noticed my writing has been heavy with frustration over the fact that some people who have come into my life recently have been really self-absorbed. I was feeling sorry for myself about how no one is listening and everything is so one-sided and yadda yadda yadda. It was a regular pity-party to be honest.

But just like how I can read into something my boss said, my perception of how I believe people are is how they will tend to be. So if I can transform myself and my perception, I believe that some of these people will be better listeners and true friends.

In fact, they probably already are. But only by transforming my attitude will they become that way. Oh hell, and if they aren't...well that line of thinking doesn't suit me too well. But if they aren't, then I guess it just helps me to achieve balance in the friendship department. Regardless, here I go trying to grow again!

Among other things, I'm thankful for my toothbrush

My girlfriend from Norway has been lamenting the fact that she isn't able to enjoy American Thanksgiving this year. My friend Iain from Wales said I am the first person he has ever wished a happy Thanksgiving to.

Eating dinner at our house are four people from California, two people from the East Coast and one sweet midwestern girl. (Guess who that is? Yes, I made casserole and lefse. I thought you would never ask.)

Although Thanksgiving is truly an American holiday, it brings up something that everyone can relate to, regardless of their background: Gratitude. What are we thankful for? I like to think that I spend every day giving thanks for what I have, but I'm sure there are things I take for granted.

In the newspaper industry, we were encouraged to think of new and different ways to cover the same things that happen year after year. And I have thought about writing something different, but really, isn't Thanksgiving about revisiting what you're grateful for? So without further ado, here is my list (in no real particular order):

Love, Sun, Luna, Earth, Dreams, Clean running water, Electricity, Fuel for cooking, Food in/and my refrigerator, Pilates, My room, My 6 senses, Moving to California, the Pacific, Trees, Books, Cooking, Wine and beer (Oh who are we kidding? Hard alcohol too.), Sex, The Universe, My blog, Traveling, Truth, Health, Floss, Indoor Plumbing, My bicycle, The beach, Rain, Shooting stars, Music, Internet, My closet, Margarita Meetings and My job

And while all of those things are great, they wouldn't mean too much without these people:

Sante, Johanna, Bryan, Iain, Kangbao, Nicole, Jennifer, Jean, Sophia, Okon, Justine, and Julie. Oh, and my mom. Duh.

Last year on Thanksgiving. I love these women!

Happy Thanksgiving! May your belly be full, your weekend seem long, and your football team win.

Gangsta For Life (G4L)!

I've been listening to a lot of hip hop and Top 40 bullshit lately. Some people have reality TV, others trashy romance novels -- my guilty pleasure is terribly bad music. Or at least it is terribly bad to the music fascists out there. It makes me happy. So really, what's wrong with that?

My roommate and I were listening to the radio in the car last night and Rihanna's new song Hard was playing. I commented that she was on Def Jam now and had to get some street cred. Read: Pop/Rap song with Young Jeezy. Oh dear lord. Can you believe how ridiculous it is that I know this? (BTW: Check out the song. I really like it.)

hard - rihanna ft young jeezy

I started thinking about how silly real life would be if we all acted like hip hop artists:

I stayed up partying past midnight last weekend. We were drinking Sierra Nevada and sauteing shrimp for dinner. Watching Curb Your Enthusiasm we rented from NetFlix: Larry David is a genius. I'm not scared to laugh.

I caught the 71 from Aptos to Watsonville. It runs once an hour. Some of the drivers know me. I look so fly walking to the bus stop that cars driving by honk and people wave. I wave back. Yeah, I know I rule.

During the week I kick it at Smith Micro Software. I'm always writing the coolest shit so people will want to buy our software. Other software companies are wishing they had our products. Their marketers would kill for my skills.

After work I'm hitting up Target for some Clear Care contact solution and Crest Whitening Toothpaste. You don't wanna question my hygiene. I'll shower once, maybe twice, a day. But I'm not washing my hair that often. Don't get it twisted.

I don't always ride the bus. Sometimes I walk. I can walk for miles. I walk 3 miles every day. Up hills and shit. That's how tough I am. Once in a while I ride in my roommate's Ford Focus. Or my boyfriend's Toyota Tundra. I don't know if it has sweet rims or anything, but I would bet it does. He doesn't play.

And that was just this past week! I gotta say, I feel pretty hard. And awesome. Don't hate. Give it a try. You just might find out you're extraordinary.

P.S. Rihanna's new look is really hot. And I am going to shamelessly promote her and her new album, which kicks ass and is being released November 23.

You can change an idea. Beliefs are trickier.

A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club. I happen to think it's one of the greatest movies (and books) of all time. And it's not just because Brad Pitt kicks a lot of ass while shirtless. And it's not just because of Edward Norton's soothing voice as narrator. The book and movie speak volumes for how I feel about consumerism and the American "dream."

There are a few lines in the book and movie that speak to me. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Isn't that the truth? The classic stories of heroes throughout time all begin with a loss so great (family, home, trust) that one doesn't possibly think the hero can overcome. But when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, you start to see things differently. Hell, you can do whatever you want. But only with the right mentality. And the ability to see past the fear.

My favorite line from the movie is The things you own end up owning you. I never wanted to forget that, so I branded it on my body. Frankly, I am not a tattoo kinda girl, but this was important to me. And I've had more than one conversation about it that ended with "I'm not a big fan of tattoos, but I really like yours." And that's how I feel about it. It means something.

So: A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club, and he actually owned the movie. It was in his home. This was while I was staying in Norway, which happens to be one of the wealthiest countries in the world. People there tend to be very into fashion. It costs $30 to take the bus. Cigarettes were $20 a pack. (Coincidence I just quit? Hardly.) I hadn't been able to put my finger on exactly why I felt uncomfortable at times there, but the movie did it for me: I'm uncomfortable with people spending money.

Now we could talk about why that is, but that's really neither here nor there. What I'm concerned with is my quest to achieve balance in all of this. Just because I have an opinion about owning things does not mean that no one else should. Hell, my roommate owns his house and I'm pretty stoked on that. And I would really like to buy a boat one day, and I convinced him that I should put it in his name.

So is it really bad to own things? Is it terrible to want nice things and to spend money on them? I don't know. As Tyler Durdin would say: Is this necessary, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?

Again, I'm thrown back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Where does all of this belong? Is this model appropriate? I'm looking for feedback here. I am open to modifying my ideas here. I don't know that it's realistic to all live hunter-gatherer lifestyles. But then again, if 2012 is in our future, perhaps my questions are unwarranted.

According to my friends, I've been Californiaized

It's been a few days since I arrived home and (I think) the jet lag has passed. My clothes are clean and my luggage is back in its place in the closet.

Although I miss my sweet sweet friend dearly, there is something so nice about coming home. So in the spirit of my last post, here are some things (in no particular order) I love about California:

• I can call it home! I've lived here for four months, and when I was missing home on my trip, I was missing California. I feel settled in and that I belong here--more than any place in a long while.


• My kitchen! I had a great time cooking in Norway. I learned how to prepare different fish, make mushroom sauce (mmm...mushrooms) and that there are loads of things you can put on bread. But there is something so nice about coming home and baking bread in my own oven. My first loaves: oatmeal cinnamon raisin breakfast bread. Oh yeah. It's amazing.

• My friends and roommate. The few friends I've made here are great ones. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. My roommate and I get along famously regardless, but I will say that installing a washer and dryer while I was gone made me even more happy to see him.
  
  Here's a pic of him and me in San Francisco a few months back. We went to visit friends and family. It's so nice to have people that care about me in California. It's pretty awesome considering how little time I have been here.




• The food! I know, I know! But food provides energy for life. We have to eat it, so I have decided to enjoy it. And damn! I missed the taquerias. I love spicy food -- peppers and hot sauce of any kind. I am using the word "love" about hot sauce and I am not ashamed. A good friend of mine and I made these huevos rancheros for breakfast a few weeks ago. I guess I eat like a queen in Cali too.



Oh California! Thanks for such a warm homecoming. I feel so blessed to be living in this beautiful state. It's full of possibilities and wonder. I've only begun exploring.

(You will notice the weather is not on this list. Although I love it, it is chili here. It's a humid coolness, and that chills to the bone. I realize that coming from Minnesota I shouldn't complain, and I'm trying not to. It's for this reason that my friends make fun of me for being Californiaized. I dare say I would not make it through a Minneapolis winter now.)

It's pretty obvious I'm Scandinavian

Saturday night was my last night in Trondheim. Of course, being the girls we are, we did it right and went out to the club. It was a perfect night of drinking, talking, dancing and the requisite kebab stand visit.

I have had a wonderful vacation so far in Norway. There are so many things that I love about this place. Here they are, in no particular order:

• My dear friend Johanna. We met in the laundry room of our building a little more than a year ago in Minneapolis. She has shown me what a good friend is, how to be a better friend, and a number of great places, from Billings, Montana to Trondheim, Norway.

• The food!!! Oh.My.God. These people know what they're doing. I've eaten venison meatballs with (freshly picked) mushrooms, salmon filets with lemon cream sauce and pan-fried flounder with butter sauce. And that was just one weekend! My friend assures me that not all Norwegians eat like them. Regardless, I have dined out twice in the two weeks I have been here, and although the sushi was some of the best I have ever had, those meals were probably my least favorite.


• Johanna's family. They are some of the most loving and welcoming people I have ever met. I feel like part of the family. I moved in with her cousin; he had never even met me. I spent a weekend with more of her cousins boating and relaxing on the water this summer. I am leaving after a week and a half of non-stop hospitality from her parents. They're the perfect hosts and wonderful to spend time with. It's so nice to have such great people in my life. And I haven't laughed this hard in years.


• All the water around me. Yes, I know I live by the ocean. But I walk out the door and cross the river Nidelva. The fish market and harbor are within walking distance. It just all feels so right. I think it's the Minnesotan in me.


• The age of the city. This is something that I miss every time I leave somewhere in Europe. The Nidarosdomen cathedral was built about 1000 years ago. Yup. The U.S. just celebrated its 200th birthday. It's just a different world, and I love it.

I have one more day in Oslo, and I am really looking forward to my time there. I am sure there will be more things to love and I am sad to leave, but as an old friend of mine once said: "How can I miss you if you don't go away?"

Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday

My flight to Oslo was on Swiss Air. I'm a fan. The flight attendants were friendly, I only waited for the bathroom once, wine was free, and the food was decent. Although it was airline food, it was served with real silverware. For some reason, that made it for me. Serve me tasteless pasta and I'll be disappointed, but give it to me with a silver fork and I can't stop raving about it!

My friend and I were talking last night about how  it's the little things that make life so great. I brought up the silverware. She talked about the stranger on the street who complimented her hat. She said that if we paid more attention to the small stuff, the big stuff would hardly matter.

I agree. I have a white board in my room that I see every morning when I wake up. It lists all the things I can think of to be thankful for. Inevitably it has the big things like my room and food -- things on the bottom of the hierarchy of needs. However, most of what is on there are things like wine, friends, pilates, trees, stars, and (of course) my blog.

I have had all sorts of experiences in the past week or so that I am thankful for. And since I don't have my white board, I figured my blog would do just fine.

My friend and her family have had me in their home for the past week; there has been fresh fruit, homemade bread, more cheese (or ost in Norsk) than you can shake a stick at, and all the coffee, water and wine I could want. I truly thank them for their hospitality. I feel like part of the family.

My dear friend in Oslo picked me up at the airport, booked a train for himself and me to Trondheim, and will take a day off from work to show me around the city next week. I am so blessed to have met him through a church celebration of Norway's independence in Minneapolis. Yeah, I know. That's the Universe having a sense of humor right there.

The weather in Trondheim reminds me of Minneapolis around this time. Cold, windy and just a bit damp. Very fall. Very crisp. Thank you to Trondheim for confirming that I made the right decision by moving to California. Although it could get this cold where I live now, it won't get colder (like it will in my former post) and for that I am truly thankful!

Some people say the devil is in the details. I tend to disagree. Don't sweat the small stuff? I don't know about that, but then I don't sweat much of anything. The little things in life are what we really remember. They stick out in our brain for years. If there isn't toilet paper in a restaurant, I would be willing to bet we remember that longer than what we ordered for dinner. 

In the spirit of the little things, I would like to say thank you to everyone in my life that I know and to those I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet for making it so amazing. I love you all! 

Seeking similarities in a sunless situation

In the last few days I have been trying desperately to shake jet lag. The fact that I am up writing at 2 am would lead me to believe that I've done a terrible job of it. But hey! Because of the time difference I am just having a bit more trouble assimilating to life in Scandinavia.

When I travel, I often look for the differences between what I am accustomed to and what other cultures and countries are used to. The Norwegians shower on the bathroom floor here--the drains are all over the bathroom! The Swedish have a two "mealish" events: one that is all about sweets and happiness and another that is more of a mini meal. You can imagine I am a fan of both. 

This afternoon my girlfriend and I were discussing that looking for the differences might not be the right way to go about things. I mean, we're all creatures of habit are we not? Perhaps we should be looking for similarities so that we can be more comfortable when we're struggling to find our place in new surroundings.

Don't we all experience joy and heartache? Don't we all bleed? Don't we feel cold and dress accordingly? (This is definitely one I am relearning on my vacation in the Nordic world.) 

As the world gets smaller thanks to advances in communication and travel, there is more of a need to assimilate more quickly to different environments. Maybe noticing what we have in common as humans will make that easier. Maybe it will help my jet lag. Maybe it's all just wishful thinking, but be careful what you wish for ... world peace may be just around the corner!

Collaborations of Abstraction

http://collaborationsofabstraction.wordpress.com/

One of my goals in the past year was to visit Europe. A friend and I made plans to fly to Ireland as well as Spain. Along with great photos and 10 pounds (damn that Spanish wine and ham!), we brought back the email address of some Welsh dude.

Fast-forward about six months and I found myself with another friend from across the globe. And this one happened to be inspired by my blog -- so inspired that he started his own.
http://welshtramp.blogspot.com/

(I'm still very flattered by this.)

There have been times when I've wanted to post something on my blog, but it really didn't suit the theme. I know it's hard to believe, but there are times when the pessimist comes out of the basement and I just want to rant. Or sound off on politics. Or let the inner conspiracy theorist have the reins. And Iain had similar feelings about his blog.

I've been trying to find someone to co-write on a blog with me for quite some time. But not everyone fancies themselves writers, and a lot of people just don't feel the need to put it "out there." So after watching my friend blog like a maniac for the past few months, I decided to ask him. And he was soooo down! Sweet!

So check out our new blog Collaborations of Abstraction. It's full of all sorts of interesting discoveries and thoughts from all over the world. At least interesting to us. Comments are encouraged. Suggestions are welcome.

http://collaborationsofabstraction.wordpress.com/

We'll both continue our individual blogs. So don't worry. My ridiculous optimism will continue. How could it not? There are so many beautiful things to consider and appreciate!

"No, impassible. Nothing's impossible!"

Jim, a 78-year-old man, showed up at my door today to say hello and that he grew up in what I now call my home. I invited him in and he told me about a secret room behind my closet (exploration time, anyone?) and where he buried his dog. His parents had the house built. He said he lived here during World War II and when there were blackouts, they would eat by the light of the refrigerator.


I'm a sucker for good stories, so it was a welcome intrusion, to say the least.

Today also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the Loma Prieta Earthquake, which shook (literally and figuratively) much of California to the core. I've seen monuments to the catastrophe here but not being local, mostly I remember it as something that happened during (of course) playoff baseball.

Perspective and time are such amazing things, aren't they? One person can look out a window and see empty fields where he dug caves and hid coins, and I see a neighborhood full of people going about their business. To me, a closet holds clothes; to him--secret meetings with the neighbor kids. In my world, the earthquake was pictures and newscasts. To others, it seemed to be the end of the world.

I often wax poetic about different planets and dimensions, wondering when we will be able to travel to and from and through them. But doesn't that already exist in the world we live in today? If we open our minds and look through other people's eyes, Mount Everest doesn't look so tall. And the oceans seem only a pond.

Perhaps our version of time travel is too narrow. What if we simply listened and lived through other people's stories. I mean really listen without our own experiences coloring theirs? Could we travel back in their memories? Can we exist somewhere else simply by letting go?

If this is true, then maybe we can do whatever we want to do. That looming project at work might not seem so taxing after swimming the English Channel. Writing that book would seem less daunting after witnessing your plays performed on stage. For those times when we'd rather not get out of bed, we could remember a life where we could not walk at all.

I'm not proposing we don multiple personalities or lose our own. I'm suggesting that maybe if we let go of our egos and allow our souls to truly listen and move, we can accomplish anything. We are all connected, and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could learn the easy way for once? I think it's very possible.

What would you eat for a last meal?

There are certain questions I like to ask that I feel tell a lot about someone:

--How do you like your eggs?
--If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
--Do you have a criminal record?

These questions don't have a right or wrong answer. They're just telling, y'know? And this weekend I was speaking to some people about my adventures of late, and I realized, I basically answered the question "What would you take to a deserted island?" Oh, and here's a picture of my answer.




Watermelon (for hydration, of course!), my bread, wine (man can not live on bread alone), Henry David Thoreau's Walden, and well, a cigarette. (I know, I know. Dammit!)

Most of us really don't need much. In fact, I like to remind myself that I don't need anything. But oxygen is good. And I really do dig sunshine. And I'll begrudgingly admit that gravity has its benefits. Maybe the things we need are what we cannot capture.

Laughter, happiness and love are the oxygen, sunshine and gravity of our lives. They're impossible to capture, and the science behind them is mind-blowing. So, although I really like my cigarettes, booze and literature, I'm certain I could make it on a deserted island as long as I had some good company.

Goals are like the roadmaps to life

My friend and I were chatting this afternoon, and he was waxing sentimental about a certain girl. It would be a year ago (in 11 days, 15 hours and 32 minutes) that she had left for Australia. It was sweet, albeit a little sappy, and it made me smile. I was getting all misty. Then he asked, "What were you doing at this time last year?"

Holy Jesus. Stop the show. Go back a year? I did. Thought about it. Talked about it a little. And the conversation flowed again. But what was it about that question that caught me off guard?

The topic of goals has been coming up in conversation a lot lately. (Probably because the season of death is almost upon us, and we're doing the natural assessment of another cycle's passing.) So I started thinking about the goals I had for the last year and what came of them.

• Travel to Europe--actually going to make it there twice. Damn! Not bad at all!


• Move to another state--California resident? Check!


• Write a book or screenplay--not quite, still working on it...that may be on the list for awhile


• Go boyfriendless for awhile--single for almost two years!


• Go for a solid motorcycle ride this summer--3.5 hours in the mountains and along Hwy 1. Couldn't ask for a much cooler ride than that.


• Surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person--Yup!


• Pursue balance--working on it!


• Go to a baseball game in California--looks like this one might not be a reality unless I can get down to L.A.

I'm going to pat myself on the back for this list. I did almost everything I wanted to do this year. To be honest, I just learned the power and magic of setting goals. I had never really done it before. I mean, yeah, I had the occasional New Year's resolution, but I always made those really easy: floss every day, eat 3 fruits or veggies a day, etc. This was my first attempt at sitting down and making some reasonable and not-so-attainable goals.

I think the reason I was so nervous about answering my friend's question is that I used to dread shit like that as a kid. Remember being in high school and all the adults would ask, Where are you going to college? and then it's When are you getting married? and then it's Where are you thinking of buying a house? And this pattern of questioning continues until we have children and then they can start badgering them instead of us. Anyway, I always hated those questions because they were based in assumption. And god forbid we should say, Eh...I don't really feel like going to college.

The cool thing is though, once you start having your own goals, questions like my friend's are much more fun to answer. I wonder if some "adults" had stopped asking the assuming questions, if adolescence would have been easier. Ha! I doubt it.

I think the more often we set goals, the easier they are to attain. And they keep us moving forward. But it's an active process. We must participate in our lives, or we'll end up waking up one day with a spouse, house and kids and say Woah woah woah! When did this happen? Not that there's anything wrong with said things--I'm just suggesting we make sure they're our ideas and not the product of someone else setting our goals. If we actively set and work toward goals, I'm fairly certain we can do anything. That's why that screenplay goal will stay on my list!

My hypotheses may not hold up in California

My friend told me about her bus ride home today. An older guy with a fake Jamaican accent was fighting with his girlfriend and declared to the entire bus: "I bring you fruit and you throw it down the stairs!"

She said it was quite the dramatic production. She was convinced it was fake. And that got me thinking about something I haven't considered in a while: The Social Experiment.

I'm a big fan of seeing how people react in situations where the unexpected happens. Or when they're forced to be uncomfortable by proximity. I've traveled across a continent to visit someone for 11 hours just to see how they would react.

One of my favorite ideas was going to lunch in front of the courthouse where everyone (read: judges, lawyers, the real suits) eats when it's nice out. I would show up in my business casual uniform with my lunch, strip down to a bikini and sunbathe on the fountain bench. I wanted to get my photog friend there to document the event, but even she was uncomfortable with the idea.

I guess I haven't really considered doing a social experiment in a while. Probably because the last three months of my life have been a giant one on myself. But now that I'm a little more familiar with my surroundings, it might be time to start brainstorming.

The thing is, people in Minnesota are different than people in California. (Insert "Duh!" here.) So how do I come up with new ideas? And I can't very well experiment on my coworkers or roommate. That would be downright unethical! So where do I start? Perhaps the transit station.

Justification--I could have been a lawyer with all the loopholes I find, even in my own logic!

This weekend I went to a few bars in downtown Santa Cruz. I remember recently reading that smoking has been banned on the main street, coincidentally right where I was puffing away. The next day I went to the beach. The same legislation that banned my activity outside the bars has now restricted smoking on public beaches. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?

In my quest to find balance in the past few years, I have become something of a walking contradiction. I am, after all, a vegetarian who enjoys a good steak. Even though I'm a beer snob, you'll still find Hamm's in my refrigerator. Y'know, to keep me on even footing. Er..or something like that.

I have kinda used the idea of balance to justify the pack of cigarettes in my purse. I work out. I eat well. I just happen to be addicted to cigarettes.

Then I thought if I could just change the addiction to an enjoyment, then I would achieve this elusive balance as a smoker/non-smoker. But alas, it just wasn't in the cards. This was an all-or-nothing undertaking for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in the effort to achieve balance, not everything can be so middle-ground. There has to be some things that we need to be extreme about. And it's different for everyone.

There are things we love and are good for us. Things that are OK to permeate our lives with. To be extreme with, like biking, reading or watching baseball (OK that might just be me!).

But there are other things that we must eradicate from our lives, that we can not allow anywhere near us, because we aren't able to control them. Those things could be physical, like addictions to alcohol or other substances. Or maybe they're mental, like a bad relationship that can not be mended.

I guess the idea is to recognize what we can balance and what we can not. And try to balance our extreme behaviors. Like I'll avoid smoking like the plague, but I will watch almost every playoff game in October. That's balance, right?!?

I challenge you to a duel...or perhaps a dual?

Recently I cleaned my refrigerator, microwave and toaster. These are not projects I enjoy, but the end result is always quite pleasing. It occurred to me about halfway through that if I were to clean them more often (the current rate being about once every few months), it would be much easier and less...unpleasant.

I've made a habit of looking at the small things in life and seeing the positive in them. It's created a world of beauty, love and wonder for me.

And so in my new quest for balance, I'm trying to do the same. Look at what surrounds me. Learn from life: the greatest teacher of all. And life is telling me that the food in the microwave would be easier to scrape off and the leftovers would be better tended to in the refrigerator if I just made a small effort more often. I wouldn't have to go to extremes, using chemicals and paint scrapers, to get the results I wanted.

The bottom line is this: maintaining balance is not a weekend retreat. This is not something anyone can do for a few hours a week and check it off their to-do list. It's an attitude. It's a brain path that needs to be created. And just like the path in the woods, the more often it's traveled the easier it becomes.

So in the spirit of sanguinity, I challenge myself (and others) to find the lesson of the middle-ground in every day moments. And while it may be challenging and unpleasant, the end result is inevitably worth the effort.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

This weekend I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and saw a great white shark. It was pretty amazing. These sharks don't do well in captivity. They are rescued, cared for and released quickly back to the ocean. I was really blessed to be able to get there and see it.

One of my life goals is to swim with great white sharks. You know--in a giant cage surrounded by bloody fish guts.

For the longest time I thought that it would take ages for me to realize that goal. Actually, there are a lot of life goals I have that seem pretty overwhelming: see the Olympics, live in Ireland, perfect the over easy egg. But I realized on the day I visited the aquarium that it's all about taking little steps to make the big thing happen.

My goal is to swim with the sharks. I've now seen a live great white in person. I live near the ocean. It's only a matter of time before I'll be swimming with them. My goal is to see the Olympics. I have friends of friends that ski in the Olympics and the winter games are in Vancouver next. I happen to know someone who lives there. I want to live in Ireland. I've visited several areas. I also have a good friend who will help me get a visa and find a place to stay. The eggs? Well, I just keep trying.

I guess the pattern I'm noticing in this is that a big life goal is just a series of small steps. There's a tendency to look at the large picture and get discouraged. But really, it's all about finding the path and walking along, asking for directions. This is not an all-or-nothing thing--that's too extreme. If we looked at it that way, we could be tempted to not do anything at all.

Doing the little things in between is what is really important. Patience and following through is how we can achieve all things, big and small---swimming with sharks and cooking eggs.

I counted 21 blessings in less than an hour

On Tuesday my girlfriend called me excitedly to tell me about the meteor shower that was happening that evening. She knew I was having a rough day (what's with Tuesday's anyway?) and thought This would definitely make her Tuesday. She was right.

Unfortunately for me, my new locale tends to haze up in the evenings. I looked out at the sky in vain; the clouds had rolled in. I tried to be optimistic: I can still feel the good energy raining down on me from the Universe. But oh how I wished I could see the magnificent display!

Wednesday night my roommate had had enough of looking at a screen, so we opted to sit outside and drink some beer instead of watching a movie. What a great idea. I saw 21 shooting stars. He saw 25. We were comparing: was No. 18 as good as No. 15? It was a beautiful evening.

I saw on the news today that the meteor shower can be witnessed for the entire week. This was after I decided to just be happy with the energy passing my way, not be sad about not seeing it, and got an unexpected surprise.

Life is like that a lot. Many times we give up on something or become negative about life because it's not handed to us exactly the way we thought it should be or expected it. But so many of life's blessings are not given to us wrapped up the pretty paper we want them to be.

There are so many cliches that encourage us to see how beautiful life is. Carpe diem! Live life to the fullest! Live every day like it's your last! Being a journalist, I tend to avoid these. But I think there's a reason they are cliches: They're true, and the people that believe them really believe in them.

Pilates trains me for mental gymnastics

I have been a big fan of pilates for a few years. It helps tone and strengthen core muscles, which are arguably the largest and most important ones in our bodies. We use them for almost every movement, big or small. And I'll be honest, I like flat abs too.

One of the main things pilates helps with is balance. I'm still a klutz, but I fall down and run into things a lot less these days. The stronger our core muscles are, the easier it is for our bodies to maintain balance.

As I was working out this morning, I realized this could easily translate for my newest quest in my life: balance! I tend to swing back and forth on the pendulum without a thought to where my extremes take me. I wondered: If my core is strong, wouldn't it be easier to maintain and achieve balance?

A lot of times when starting on a new endeavor, it's hard to know where to begin. Striving for balance is a life-long project, which can make it seem daunting. But now I know what direction to point my feet in, a starting line for this self-improvement. Strengthen my core values. Know where I stand. And anyone that knows me knows that I've definitely got some strong opinions. So I guess I've already started my workout.

The barter system works for more than just goods and services: Let's trade ideas!

Yesterday my roommate came in with an armful of avocados from our neighbor's tree. Last week another neighbor stopped by with a basket of strawberries. This is pretty much the standard around here. We all have an excess of some vegetable or fruit and we just trade. I'm pretty much in love with it, mostly because it seems so much more natural than going to buy these things from a store.

I knew this area was a big growing community. One of the biggest berry suppliers in the country is here. The strawberry festival is this weekend. The thing is, I think this land isn't just about growing food. I knew that moving was going to be a giant adventure and, at times, difficult. But this soil is just encouraging me to grow.

Of course, being Rebecca, I have to pick this apart. I wonder, how do we grow when we're aware we should be growing? It's always easier to look back at a time and say, "Wow, I really grew from that experience." But what about living in the moment and trying to grow in the moment?

I spend time everyday writing, reading, working out, job searching, meditating, cooking, and trying to learn something new. Yet I wonder if this is really what helps me grow. I feel like these are all things I have been doing for awhile. Is it possible to try to grow mentally and spiritually? Or is this something that comes out of all the actions and brain activities during a point in our lives?

"Everything is a double-edged sword!" --Louis CK

It's been a few months. In this time I have been getting rid of everything I own and moving across the continent. It's amazing what little I actually need to get by. I sold a lot of what I owned, but gave most of it away. It all seemed to have a place. And that place was not with me.

In the past few years, I have been living with the phrase Be comfortable being uncomfortable running through my head. It keeps my mind limber, my optimism keen and my expectations open. Comfort can create stagnation, which breeds bacteria and becomes unhealthy. But moving across the country without a job or many friends has made me reconsider.

I wonder: When is it OK to comfortable? Where is the middle ground between complete chaos and stuck in a rut? Should we constantly be searching, never to be satisfied? Or should we accept and live in routine? Can we do both?

Thus begins my quest for the middle ground. Anyone who knows me can say I tend to go to the extreme. While this may be great for my workout routine, it can be a disaster when I go out for drinks. And that may be simplifying it but it may not be.

How do you want your eggs?

I started waiting tables again, but it's nothing like my old serving job. It's night and day, literally. I used to work from 5pm to 2am and now I work from 8am to 4pm. The new arrangement works out much better for me. There are other things I like about this job in comparison to my other one as well.

• It's not corporate, so there aren't all these ridiculous rules about behavior we have to abide by. Don't get me wrong, I believe that basic hygiene should be honored, but I don't think I should have to answer the phone with a very specific greeting.
• I like that I can walk around with the phone on my ear while I'm ringing in tables orders and refilling coffee. I'm not on a personal call of course, but I don't have to stop doing whatever it is I'm doing just because the restaurant received a call.
• No bar service! We have wine and beer, but it's a breakfast joint so we don't see a lot of it. Naturally I doubt I will ever have to cut someone off there. At my old job I cut off eight people after the Basilica Block Party one year. Fucking Catholics...
• I am done at 4pm at the latest. I may have mentioned this before, but man it's nice to see daylight after a closing shift.
• It's only 50 feet from the farthest point in the restaurant to the expo line. I used to walk miles a night in the gargantuan restaurant before.
• People seem to be much happier about going out for breakfast than they do for dinner. Maybe it's the lowered expectations or maybe less has happened in their day to make them pissy.
• Nobody checks out your sidework. People actually trust you to do your work there. How sweet is that?

Of course I could probably come up with a list of things I don't like about the place too, but what fun would that be?

Lunch stimulates my brain--internally and otherwise

Here are some things I learned today:

• Radishes are an excellent food if you are looking to get full without a lot of calories. (Apparently a cup is about 20 calories.) They are also spicy delicious root vegetables that make me think of summer, farmer's market and my friend Jean.
• Tomatoes are a close relative of the plant belladonna (Italian for beautiful woman). Belladonna is poisonous--ingestion of one leaf can be fatal to an adult--and was used in flying powder by witches, according to folklore.
• A serving of spinach has more iron in it than a 6 ounce serving of beef. Veggies unite! But in order for your body to absorb it, it must be combined with Vitamin C. Coincidence that tomatoes and spinach taste so good together? I think not!
• Hummus is one of the oldest known consumed foods in the world.

I learned all this from my lunch. Learning from the things we do everyday is important, and I rejoice every time I have the opportunity.

A Sample Cover Letter (feel free to use it)

A friend of mine and I have been working on applying for jobs. The biggest bitch is writing the cover letter. I will walk around the room trying to think of the perfect thing to write. While my brain searches for something, I inevitably stumble across a few four-letter words and sentences that either don't pertain or are just plain inappropriate.

My friend thought some of this stuff was pretty funny, so I thought why not put it out there for more people to laugh at? Or just for my own entertainment...

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to express my interest in your position for whatever the hell you might be willing to pay me for. After reviewing your vague and incomplete job description in one of the countless job search website hells, I believe that I could con my way into an interview with you.

I have nine years of combined international education and work experience, but I doubt that you really give a shit. I could list several experiences I have had over the years that might make me stand out, but I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I'm one foxy chick and you might enjoy seeing me around the office.

Your qualifications suggest that I should be driven to provide good customer service. Well, no shit. Unless I was applying for an underground lab assistant position, one would assume I would be dealing with other people. I am able to deal with criticism although I prefer compliments. I believe my philosophy on customer service is refreshing: If the customer wasn't so stupid, my job would be a lot easier.

I am also familiar with working with sales people, as I manage several accounts for the fuckers at my current position. I create and manage all the Excel work for our office, but that has more to do with the fact that they're a bunch of idiots who can barely send an email and less to do with my spreadsheet management skills. As if to help prove this point, they asked me, a non-native English speaker, to edit our company’s website for content.

I've attached my resume for you to print out, use as a coaster for your coffee cup and eventually give to your secretary (who probably has a higher IQ than you) to shred. I will say that I am the perfect candidate for your position if only because I am a fine piece of ass who will put up with annoying middle-management requests for at least one year. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience, which will probably be at some ungodly hour of the morning after I've been on a week-long bender. I look forward to speaking with you.

Best regards,
Your New Employee

The best teacher we have is ourselves

My cousin's graduation announcement arrived in my mailbox today. After the initial shock of seeing his senior picture (I remember him being born!), I started to think a little about new beginnings and expectations. That's the idea, right?

While graduation is a clear example of the end of one thing and the beginning of something else, we are faced with these situations throughout our lives. It can be unsettling to be in a position where we have to say goodbye to what we've become comfortable with and hello to what we know little about.

There are certain expectations people have for us and that we have for ourselves. The longer we settle into a pattern, the less often we have these expectations. We tried this and it didn't work out. We set a goal and achieved it. Now what's next? Many times we forget to ask what's next, and instead pat ourselves on the back for what we can and try and forget the failures.

I have been having some anxiety about this lately, as I am moving away from a city that has hosted a world of achievements and letdowns for me to a place I have never been. In the beginning, I assigned a negative emotion to this feeling. Anxiety in itself has a negative connotation.

Anxiety can be a good thing -- a marker that our body and brain are still working. Of course we feel stress when we go through major change--it's part of nature's plan. Learning to deal with it and work through it is what separates us from the animals. We can move out of our comfort zone. We should. Habits and routine can be good to a point, but not if it's keeping us from setting goals and moving forward.

I challenge all of us to look at the beginning and end points of things in our life. It doesn't have to be as obvious as graduating, buying a house or changing jobs. It can be as simple as a new workout routine or a new friend. These things cause stress and anxiety at almost undetectable levels. They also create new expectations for us. If we can navigate our way through these, then certainly we can accomplish whatever it is we want in this life.

Is that the best your brain could come up with?

There is a website where one can rent designer purses, jewelry, watches and sunglasses. Apparently I'm a little behind in the times, because this has been going on for sometime, as my friend pointed out. Now I have enough problems with the whole designer bag phenomenon as it is, but I'm trying to see other points of view: you own it forever and they tend to be good quality, etc. But renting one?

Who are you trying to impress? Because I can only see that side when it comes to renting Gucci or Louis Vuitton for between $40 and $400 a month. You care far too much about the facade -- about what people are saying about you.

I'm thinking about starting my own business: rent a personality. I can create a truly amazing life for you with my incredible imagination. I can give you silly quirks, interesting anecdotes, mental illnesses (that shouldn't be too tough) and diverse musical taste. What about a crippling fear of Styrofoam? Oh sure, that too.

The sad thing about my business is that it would require so much work for my customers to acquire their personalities that they would be better off just doing it themselves. But people don't like to do work. People want things handed to them, which is why they're depending on credit for the gas to drive their financed BMW while sporting rented Ray Bans. And still they want more. And still they are unhappy.

Now normally I try to keep my blog pretty optimistic. But what's the sense of having your own blog if you can't rant on occasion? It's just tragic that people think they have to be a certain way.

I'm not saying I have the answers to how everyone should live, but if human beings didn't care so much about what their possessions said about them, the Earth might be a more interesting place. But then again, maybe keeping the masses chasing shit they don't need keeps them out of the way for the real visionaries and prophets.

Dairy Queen brings the consumer out of me

I went into the skyway system in downtown Minneapolis today and was struck with a sudden need to have Dairy Queen. While this in itself is not weird (I love Blizzards and would eat one every day if I could), I noticed that the last time I was in the skyway I really wanted something ... anything.

The skyway encourages the want in me. And in most people I think. It reminds me of rats in a maze: go through the correct way and get your reward. Turn right at the TCF Tower and you'll get to Starbucks where you will purchase and receive your coffee, your incentive for making it through the maze and through the day.

Living in a capitalist country makes this sort of thing the norm. Unfortunately it also encourages debt and living paycheck-to-paycheck. Think of all that interest being paid on venti mochacchinos!

I have a few friends who don't have credit cards and don't have debt. They are definitely the minority. I strive to not want things, whatever it may be, but it can be difficult. And easy to swing into the extreme.

I ask myself, Do I really need this? And the answer is most times no. But where is the reward in the maze for someone who doesn't want? Maybe it's about getting out of the maze, but until that day I guess I'll just enjoy the people-watching.

Most problems can be solved with movie quotes

One of my favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. While I believe most of the lines are quotable (and I do), one conversation from the movie in particular I like is this:

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.

Sally Albright: Why?

Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, 'How come you never take me to the airport anymore?'

Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

My friends and I were talking about how people have their relationship status listed on Facebook. We were against it for the most part. Our arguments with it mostly had to do with privacy and the like. And of course, really, if someone would like to know, they could just ask.

While that is one of the reasons I stopped listing my relationship status, the main reason is like Harry's above. I never want anyone to say to me "How come you're not listed as in a relationship with me on Facebook?"

If that makes me the angel of death, then so be it.

Good girlfriends--every woman deserves them

I've been watching PBS lately. I'm not the biggest fan of television, but I think that if it's not on a few hours a week I'm missing out on something. I've learned that volcanoes in Hawaii sing songs in tones lower than audible to the human ear, and if you want to make salmon burgers that aren't too dry add some mushrooms and onions to them.

This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their "dark side" online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don't like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren't being judged.

While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don't have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren't good enough friends to begin with if they can't stick by you in a time of extreme change.

Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.

I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I'm one of them. However, in the past year I've had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it's amazing what we can accomplish.

My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let's quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.

"But Brawndo's got what plants crave."

While traveling in Ireland and Spain my friend and I noticed a lot of things that weren't like the United States. Some of them were just plain silliness--Booze 2 Go was on every corner in Dublin and Museo del Jamon (The Ham Museum) was quite possible Madrid's most popular hang-out.

There were other things, however, that we noticed ourselves being perplexed about that seemed to have a similar theme. All the bars closed at different times. We would go to a pub in Ireland and they would close but we could grab a beer next door for another hour or two. In Spain we would leave one bar, go to another and be told to leave an hour later--this pattern continued until about 5am. Also, crosswalks were never on the corners and street rarely intersected at 90 degree angles. And there were never really any clear-cut rules about where one could or could not smoke.

Now my friend and I pride ourselves in the fact that we aren't programmed. We have made it into our late twenties without kids, husbands, or houses. We aren't chasing the "American Dream." But after a few days of noticing these things that bothered or perplexed us about Europe, we realized that we are used to some uniformity and that, indeed, we are programmed.

Some may argue that uniformity is important, and I tend to agree. What I have a problem with is doing something simply because it is always done that way, or because it is "easiest." My friend and I agreed that the different bar closings were a great idea because there isn't a mad rush for cabs and a great exodus to deal with. But we doubted that it would be received very well here because well, things have always been done that way.

I'm not proposing a great change in the bar industry or anything like that. I am proposing that we think about the things that are a certain way just because they have always been that way in our lives. Is there a better way to do things? Do we even need to have some of these habits? Are they just the residue of our lives that we haven't dealt with, kind of like the stove we've left uncleaned for months? I know routine can be important, but I think it can also make us lazy. I guess I'm saying to myself: Get out of the habit of habit.

Talkie, talkie, talkie...no more talkie.

I was in CVS with a friend and we saw some Real Cheese Flavored Puffs. We were laughing trying to decide if they were real cheese or if they tasted like real cheese flavor. This morning I noticed my peanut butter was labeled with Natural Fresh Roasted Peanut Taste. My question was similar to the one above: is it natural peanut butter or just natural peanut taste?

Paying attention is a skill. People talk a lot. Some of them are just running their mouths, but I think it's still important to listen to their words. Most people will tell you what they mean, who they are, and their intentions. Many times their sentences will be phrased like the ones above, leaving the listener to question their true meaning.

The coolest thing is talking with someone who isn't just talking to hear the sound of their own voice--one of those people who chooses their words carefully and thinks for a minute when asked a question. I like the slower conversation--the pauses in between are like rests in a melody: necessary and helpful to build anticipation.

Those people might still make comments about their real cheese flavor but offer a chance to think about it and question it during the conversation instead of two weeks later while eating your toast at breakfast. Bless them--they are a rare breed.

Einstein was an optimist

Yesterday was my last day at F&C. At every job I've ever had, I've harbored these fantasies about telling people off, whether it be the customers or coworkers. Lately I'd been thinking it would along the lines of Half Baked: "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You're cool. And fuck you, I'm out!" But something kept me from doing it.

The first law of thermodynamics is that energy can't be created or destroyed. It just changes forms. I learned that in physics in high school. While most of our study dealt with energy of moving objects and such, I believe that this rule applies to the way we send out our energy as well.

Last summer a woman driving in Uptown almost ran my friend and I over in the crosswalk. And then she had the nerve to roll down her window and yell at us. I was furious. So when these guys cat called the two of us, I gave them the finger instead of just taking it as a compliment and letting it go. Looking back, I can almost see the negative energy flowing like a sick river through these interactions.

This is exactly why I decided not to tell my boss how I really felt about her and why I let go of my fantasy of telling a certain coworker where she could shove her attitude. Because energy is never created or destroyed, I prefer to send as much optimistic light as I can out there. In my experience it is much more difficult to change negative energy to positive, so I figure the less of it that's out there, the better. I feel like it's my little part of eliminating the pollution--like photosynthesis!

Don't worry. Be happy. Seriously.

My friend recently joined AAA. The cost of a year’s membership is less than one tow and includes a lot more than that. And when you live in Minnesota, it seems reasonable to me.

There are, however, a few things that seem less reasonable to me:

• Insurance on your cell phone that you pay monthly and then pay a deductible when you use it…and you may only use it a certain number of times.
• Protection the cable company offers in case you have to have a technician come out and service your wires or equipment you rent from them.
• Warranties available for additional purchase on electronics (read: Best Buy)
• Credit protection for purchase on credit cards, checking and savings accounts
  
  While I try not to give in, there are times when I wonder: Should I have these things? What if my credit card gets stolen? What if my iPod quits working? What if I drop my cell phone in a toilet?
  
  What-if land is a dangerous place to go. I consider it a necessary place to visit, like Washington D.C., but I definitely wouldn’t want to live there. Constantly processing outcomes that may never happen is a sure recipe for living with fear and worry.
  
  There is a Swedish proverb that says “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” If we let go of our fear and worry and live in the moment, most of those outcomes we were processing will never occur.
  
  And really, would it be so bad if on occasion they did occur? I live for the day my cell phone runs out of power and I can’t be reached. Imagine a week!

Reh Dogg asks: "Why must I cry?" I do not ... I love Friday the 13th!

On Friday the 13th I received the following things before 9 am:

• A carnation
• A Twix candy bar
• A bagel with cream cheese
• A loaf of bread
  

And I wore my Bon Jovi shirt. And one of my favorite bands is playing tonight...and I'm getting in for free. I have a three day weekend.

What I really want to know is what could make this day better? Oh I know! Watching Rey Dogg!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPIiOd3thu0

I'd like to return the box you've put me in

Normally celebrity gossip makes me a little ill. But I was forced to watch this whole Joaquin Phoenix interview on Letterman at work today. And by forced, I mean literally my supervisor said, "B, come watch this."

There were a few different reactions to Joaquin Phoenix's behavior in our office (there were several people who found this newsworthy--I work in a newsroom). Most of them had something to do with a guess as to what drugs he was on or what mood disorder had suddenly surfaced in him. All I could discern was that he didn't want to talk a lot at that particular time, which was too bad for him considering he was being interviewed on national television.

(On a somewhat related note: The man's name is phoenix. Death and rebirth are part of the bird's very essence!)

When someone makes a change in their life, many people have something to say about it. What's unfortunate is that many times the things that people say are critical and are based in assumption. These judgments are unfair and most times unsolicited.

Change is hard enough without someone saying how you (in their opinion) have fucked up or are going to fuck up. A few of us are blessed to have great support systems to help us maneuver through our journey. But I would say that the majority of us deal with the former more than the latter. It's too bad.

I guess maybe too many people have decided their lives are perfect or too far gone for improvement and so they turn to someone else. Reserving judgment isn't an easy task and no one is perfect, but I think in this case we've all heard what I'm trying to say: If we can't say anything good, don't say anything at all.

Wind chill wars: Minnesota vs. the North Pole

Reasons I love the -30 degrees in Minneapolis:

• I saw a grown man dressed in a green and purple snow suit...on his way to work.
• Bicyclists were riding down the street with ski goggles on.
• My neighbors and I pushed my girlfriend's car back into its parking spot after it was too cold to take a jump!
• My boss actually said the phrase "Now I'm an idiot, but at least I wear a hat."
• Seeing the weather in Washington D.C. at 20 degrees and thinking, "Hey! Springtime! It's a tropical vacation!"
• After "skiing" at Buck Hill, my friend made me feel her cold ass...it was all red and freezing! This was after 45 minutes of driving in a car with heated seats! Insane! (Isn't that where you stay the warmest? In the fatty part of your body? Biology is a myth.)
• The coffee at work suddenly tastes delicious...at least it's warm.
• My coworker had to have her husband bring her pants to work because she forgot to put them on under her ski pants.
• I get to wear all of my scarves at once. It's like a true fashion show. All at once!
• The sun is soooo bright and beautiful. It looks as though I could spend the day at the beach. But it is a yellow f*cking lie!!
• Bragging rights...when I finally move somewhere warmer I'll always be one of those annoying people who says "You think this is cold..."

God bless Minnesota. It gives me a chance to test my optimism when even when it's suffering from frostbite.